It was good to stay for Vespers. My work schedule has made attending service a challenge at times and completely impossible at other times. I was happy because, today for the first time, I went up to light some candles and say some prayers without feeling self-conscience. The other times I did that it was hard to concentrate on praying because I felt so self-conscience. But, this last times, I lit three candles - one for Jim Martin and family, one for my family and one for myself - and I was actually able to pray without feeling "a thousand eyes staring at me." It was good.
I felt like I didn't want Vespers to end. The prayers, the psalms, the smell of incense, the beauty of the icons all pointed me towards the Kingdom of Heaven. It was a good place to be! Hope to be back soon!