Two Difficult Mondays

Pastor Del

My wife and I met with Pastor Del on a Monday Morning. To say we were a bit nervous would be an understatement.  The man we were going to speak to was our Pastor for over thirty years. He has helped me personally through some hardships (brought on by my own stupidity) and did so with Grace, Compassion and the Love of Christ.  He loved us and all his parishioners, and we were about to tell him that we were leaving.

It was my wife who started us on this present course, so she is the one who spoke.  I did not interrupt with my own thoughts; instead, I let her tell her story.  She recounted to Pastor Del how lately she felt drawn to the Catholic Church, loving the beauty of its liturgy and how she had a longing for the Eucharist.  Pastor remarked, regarding the beauty of worship, how he thought “we have that here” and we did not comment what we were thinking that there is no comparison to Liturgy and to what takes place among these God fearing Christians. No doubt, it is sincere from their hearts but it cannot compare to liturgical worship.  Pastor Del went on to say, “You know, the Catholics believe the Eucharist is the actual body and Blood of Jesus, do you believe that?” She said “yes” and I could see on his face that he was surprised. 

He then moved on to me.

“So, Jim, where do you stand in all of this?”

I reminded him about our meeting  back in 2011 – I didn’t expect him to remember the details; the only reason I remembered is because I blogged about them here and re-read them before our meeting this day- I said that I had met with him then and talked to him about my desire to join the Orthodox Church but was prevented from it by the wise counsel of  Fr. Gary who said that if my wife wasn’t on board to stay where I am.  That has changed, I told him, my wife now understood the importance of receiving the Eucharist and encouraged me to do so.

When I got to that point, Pastor Del interrupted me and said, “Are you telling me that you are both leaving the church?”

We both said, “Yes.”

He said, “You’ll have to excuse me a moment.” He then stood up, walked out the door.  He was actually gone a few minutes and my wife and I sat in awkward silence.  I resisted the impulse to fill the silence with an attempt at a witty remark and I am glad I kept silent.

He came back, apologized for leaving and said he been praying.  He told us he believed it would be a mistake to leave. This is where God brought you guys, he said, and we shouldn’t leave.  Our response showed him that we were resolute in our decision. He made a remark about the Eucharist and how it’s done in this church (to be honest I don’t’ remember the specifics of what he said) but I countered that there really was a difference between the Nazarene church and the Catholic /Orthodox view of things. He cut me off saying it was no use arguing about theology (or something to that effect.) I could see he really didn’t want to talk theology which, is a shame, because that was the reason we were leaving.  He then told us we would always have a home here, that he would always consider himself our pastor.

 He concluded this hard meeting by praying for us.  As soon as he said “amen,” I offered my own pray, thanking God for this godly man and the things I learned from him. I specifically mentioned how our board meetings were a spiritual affair; we started in prayer which lasted at least a half hour. I said I was grateful for the good example that set.

We ended the meeting with a hug and he said it would take a while for him to get over this.  Karen told me later, with a smile, that after he prayed, she was going to cross herself but thought that might put the poor over the edge.

Some church board meetings resembled the picture above. Thankfully, 
that was not the case for our church. We led and finished with prayer.

The following Monday was board meeting. As Sunday School Superintendent, I was a member of the board so I thought I should go.  I figured  this would be my last board meeting. Pastor had asked me in our Monday meeting if he wanted me to tell the board or should he. I said, he could do it. (I thought I might get too choked up to do it.) For some reason, I had thought he would announce it at the end of the meeting or, make it a topic on the agenda.  Instead, after sharing a scripture and before we began our time of prayer, he announced that Karen and I would be leaving the church.  He said the reason was that Karen believed that the Eucharist was the literal Body and Blood of Christ. I sort of interrupted him and said, “Well, there’s more to it than that.”  Pastor replied that seems to be the main point of what she said. In a sense, he’s right. In our meeting, Karen held  back a bit, not mentioning how the church services had not been something she could become engaged in and thus found it hard to worship (and for some other reasons I won’t get into) and that the Liturgy really helped center her thoughts on Christ but she hadn’t mentioned it because she thought he would take it personally as a slight against him.  So her views on the Eucharist seemed to be the only reason we were leaving.

I went on to say that while Karen was going to be Catholic, I was going to become Orthodox. I, almost jokingly said, “If you want to know more, you can read my blog.” A board member named Ted spoke up.(He has an amazing story on how God literally saved him after a horrible traffic accident…. I might share that here sometime in the future, if Ted allows.) Ted said, “Wait a minute- You and Karen will be going to different Churches? No offense, but that’s a red flag to me.”  It was a surprise to both Karen and I that Pastor Del did not bring up this very point during our meeting. I think it is because he was so shocked by the news of us leaving and quite upset by it that the thought didn’t enter his mind.  I answered Ted that the Catholics have many Masses in one day while the Orthodox only celebrate the Liturgy once on a Sunday so Karen and I can go to a later Mass together.  I know some hard core Orthodox may object to me attending a heterodox service, but this is something I discussed with Father Gary.  He says (and I quite agree) that sometimes attending a service with a loved one is an act of love towards that person.  I assured Fr. Gary that I would not be receiving communion at the Mass.  Our going to separate Churches is a cause of concern to myself and Karen but we have discussed it and will continue to share our spiritual lives with each other, praying together and encouraging each other.

After this short discussion, we began our time of prayer at the board meeting. Our habit is to go around the room with each board member praying out loud and Pastor Del would always conclude the prayer.  As I said, this would take at least a half hour and it made for very unified and calm board meetings.  I was touched by the many prayers for Karen and I with some even weeping because of our departure. 

We concluded the pray and went on to attend to the business of the church. 

I must say it was a difficult night but I truly am touched by the love and concern of all these people for us.  We have been friends and fellow servants of Christ for over thirty years and saying good-bye is not easy.  But I know God has great things in store for me and my wife as we continue on our journey.

Keep us in your prayers.