Sunday, February 22, 2026

Forgiveness Vespers and saying Good bye to Father Gary

 

Father Gary and me at his last coffee hour. You can read below why I am smirking

     The last time attended a Forgiveness Vespers was in 2017 (You can read about that  HEREI especially wanted to make sure I made it this year, not only because I am now a Catechumen and this is “my Church” now but also because it was the last liturgy that Fr. Gary would be celebrating as our Pastor before he retires.  It is a beautiful service and I admit I did feel awkward at first because of all the bowing and “Triple Fake Air Kisses” but it winds up being a humbling and moving experience.  At the end of all the prayers, everyone forms a line and stands before Fr. Gary. He asks us for forgiveness and that is when we bow and do the “Fake Triple Air Kiss.” As I was standing in line, waiting for my turn, I couldn’t remember what you were supposed to say. Luckily, Halle James, my fellow catechumen, was in front of me and I asked her. She said the proper phrase was “God forgives and I forgive."

 

an example from Instagram what Forgiveness Vespers looks like

     It quickly became emotional because, Matushka Mary was crying. This would be her last service with the parish she’s been a member of for over twenty years. After we forgave each other, she gave me a big hug and said how happy she was for me that I was finally entering the Church. 

     I took notice of one man, who was there with his children, and he reminded me that, in Orthodoxy, although there are many traditions and (sometimes odd things to the Western mind) of doing things, Orthodoxy does not force a person to do things they are uncomfortable with.  For example, in Orthodoxy, you venerate an Icon by bowing and kissing the Icon but there are some people who will only bow. The man I spoke of, participated in the “Forgiveness Circle” but, instead of doing the “Fake Triple Air Kiss,” which really amounted to a hug, he shook people's hands and offered words of forgiveness. He was able to fully participate in the service but do so in the way he was comfortable with.  Many people in his position would have simply left before all the hugging started but, good for this man for participating. He certainly is a fine example to his children who were standing next to him. 

     The coffee hour followed and everyone got a chance to say goodbye to Father Gary and Matushka Mary. At one point, Father Gary came and sat next to me and we chatted a bit. He asked me about my wife’s journey, and I told him how she is really becoming alive in her faith and I gave an example of how she was relating to me that she was deeply moved when she read about the Apostle Jude and all his sufferings, all for the sake of Christ and proclaiming His Word.  I know I would love for Karen to be Orthodox (and she would love for me to be Catholic) but, for now, we are both happy that we are progressing towards Christ. 

     As we were talking, Chris, the choir director, made an announcement that the choir would like to sing some hymns in honor of Father Gary.  They started singing and it was , of course, beautiful. 

     Before I left to go home, I thanked Father Gary for all his Pastoral care over the years and he agreed to take a “selfie” with me. (Pictured above) the reason I had a smirk on my face was Father Gary asked as I took the picture, if I was going to turn this into some A.I. video- apparently, he has seen some of my rather silly work on Facebook.

     I gave a hug to Matushka Mary and she said she and her husband would try to come down for when I am baptized.  (although I think Bishop Michael will want me to be Christmated instead- but I’ll do whatever) We parted laughing because I referenced the time she joked with me, when I was very new to Orthodoxy that, I was sitting in the wrong place- reserved for Priests and their wives. You can read about that HERE

     There is supposed to be a major storm coming Sunday night into Monday, so it is up in the Air if the “Canon of St. Andrew” will be served on Monday.  If it is, I’ll see if I can give you my reflections in the form of another blog post.

      In the meantime, Happy Lent everyone! May we keep the Fast!

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