24 - not Jack Bauer, but Visits!

photo by Tiffany Park, used under the creative commons license. check out here work at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/tiffanyvelez/

Yes, I can claim two dozen visits to an Orthodox Church. In a sense, they still feel like visits because Saturday nights around twice a month is not enough to become part of a community. I mean, really a part! Although I have made friends there and people see me as a fixture at Vesper's, I know from experience that to become connected not just to a few friends but to a whole community requires time spent working, laughing, crying and living together. To be sure, I already have this belonging in my Nazarene Church...but I have been a part of them for more than 15 years! And I am known by them and they understand my flaws, my bizarre sense of humor and, ah, quirks.

But all things in good time....

Yesterday, Vespers was at 5pm instead of the usual 7pm because the faithful there spent the day on a retreat which, according to reports, involved three clergy performing in skits...I wonder if that will end up on YouTube? I arrived early after a very un-Lenten stop at McDonald's to enjoy a burger and WiFi.

I can't remember if it was at the beginning of the service or a part of Vespers but there was an adorned Cross in the center of the room and, before the Icon was switched to St. John Climacus (of the Ladder), Prostrations were done to the Cross. Observing this, I can't help but feel that Orthodoxy and children are a great mix! There was this one woman in line who had a 6 year old daughter. She had a candle in her hand and was doing prostrations with a big smile on her face! Afterwards she rushed (reverently) to the front to light her candle.

Kids like to be doing things. I know this because I still run a youth group at my church (ages 7-12) and they are happiest when they are up running around playing games or doing something physical; they are saddest when they are sitting around listening to an adult preach to them. Well, Orthodoxy is very physical in it's worship so prostrations, bowing, lighting candles besides being more interesting to a kid, also involves the child in worship.

Speaking of kids, there was another Mother and child standing next to me. Being young, she had to leave the service a few times which is fine because the mother did the right thing by being in the back of the church where she would be less distracting. One thing that sticks out in my mind is during the "Our Father" prayer, I could hear the little girl's voice loud and clear. It was obvious to me that the Mother had done the right thing in teaching her child early basic Christianity.

This in a sense makes me sad that I did such a poor job in conveying faith to my children. If we would have stayed Lutheran, I, hopefully would have taught them the Creed, the Lord's prayer and other foundational Christian teachings. But, during the children's growing up years, we were (and still are) Nazarenes. They don't do stuff like that! They never pray the Lord's prayer, we have recited the Apostle's creed (never the Nicene) maybe once in the last five years and they have no formal catechism classes. Such structures would have been helpful in raising my children. Evangelicals tend leave us to our own devices and, left to that, I did nothing, save take them to church a lot.

Makes me wish I had discovered Orthodoxy a lot earlier...

Something Missing on my 23rd Visit...

I thought I'd be a few minutes late but I walked into the Church just as Fr. Gary came in through the doors. Deacon Ken was inhis usual place in the back so I stood next to him. (Interesting note, if this had been a protestant church I would have said, I sat down next to Deacon Ken - Gotta love all the standing the Orthodox do!)

The Service went on as usual and I enjoyed all the prayers, especially "The Lord is Robed in Majesty", one of my personal favorites! At one point, when Fr. Gary was walking around the Church censing the Icons, Ken leaned over to me and said, "What's missing?" I had already sensed that something was slightly different about the service which I couldn't quite put my finger on but as he asked the question, it came to me- "The censor had no bells," I whispered back to Deacon Ken. Okay, what happened? Was the regular censor in the shop and they had to make do with this hand-me-down model? I didn't think so; I figured it had something to do with Lent.

I could tell by the prayers that The Triumph of Orthodoxy was the Feast on Sunday. The choir sang all about Icons and how they revealed God. Then I looked all around the Church at the Icons. I remember how, on my first visit, they looked so foreign to me- almost scandalous to have images and make them a part of worship. But, it seems, like everything else in Orthodoxy so far, it all makes sense. I remember hearing on a podcast that Icons are deliberately made not to be an exact representation of a saint, but rather are "other worldly", something to make you think of Heaven, and not earth. This is in direct contrast to Roman Catholic Iconography. My cousin, a deeply committed Roman Catholic, shared some pictures on Facebook of a visit she made to a particular Church. The statues of Christ, Mary and all the other Saints were "life like" and, frankly, didn't raise my sights upward but the Orthodox Icons promise to deliver Heaven - and it seems they do! Every time I look at an Orthodox Icon, I feel transported- sorry to sound so flakey but it's true., ...no disrespect intended to our Roman Catholic Brothers.

After Vespers, I talked to Deacon Ken a bit more about the bells. He told me that they are omitted during a penitential period i.e., Lent but can be used on Sundays, since that is always a day of celebration! We remember that Christ is Risen, even during Lent!

"There are twelve bells on the censor, representing the disciples," said Ken, "but one of the bells doesn't ring." Ah, I thought, "The Judas Bell." It's a wonder why they didn't replace it with "a Matthias Bell" after the fashion of Acts chapter one. Oh, well, the symbolism of the unringing bell is pretty cool and you can't argue with two thousand years of tradition!

At least, I'm not going to!

Visit # 22 - The Canon of St. Andrew

Listen to the Audioboo first, then read below!!!

I walked in a couple of minutes late; I guess I shouldn’t have taken the time to record the audioboo first!

I grabbed a service book (pamphlet really, made for the occasion) and sat in the back. Of course, since I was late I had no idea where we were so Tammy, helpful as always, walked away from the choir to show me the place in the book.

Fr Gary and Fr Sergious stood in the front and took turns reading/chanting from the book. All about repentance and all cries for mercy! I especially liked how, besides asking for the prayers from the Theotokos we also asked for prayers from Zosimas and, I think, Mary of Egypt. The prayers referred to Mother Mary but, from the context of the prayers, it seems to have been about Mary of Egypt. Can someone confirm that for me? Just email me or leave a comment below.

My back had been hurting the last couple of days. (due to my weight, my arthritis and the nature of my job) so I could not stand the whole time and I was a little worried about doing prostrations. Sure, I could get down easily enough but getting up wouldn’t be so graceful. In the past, the few times prostrations were called for, I would just drop to my knees while almost everyone else placed their faces on the ground. I just went to my knees, not because of physical limitations but because, frankly, I was uncomfortable “behaving in a such a way.”…I had decided that, tonight, no matter how I felt, I would do a full prostration.

The first time it was called for, I could only manage to get to my knees. By the time I got there, everyone else had finished and was standing up again. Okay, I’ll just wait for next time around. Well, I decided to just do it. Even if everyone else was finished, I was going to do the prostration. After all, I had been learning through reading/podcasts that there is a physical side to worship, it’s not all spiritual or “in my mind.”

When I went down and did a full prostration, I have to tell you. I felt like I was really engaging in Worship. I was in the proper posture before a Holy, Almighty God. I felt connected…I felt like I was doing the right thing. And, getting up wasn’t as hard as I thought!

I have to say the Canon of St. Andrew was a beautiful experience. I can see why the Church uses it every year to start Lent off. What I really like about it is every reference to our unworthiness or sinfulness is immediately followed by a cry for Mercy and, woven in and through the words, in an expectation that our Merciful God will grant us His Mercy!

Truly, we live in hope!

Here is the Icon that was in the middle of the church for the night.

Visit number 21...coming of Age!

If my visits were years, I could drink legally now!

Last Saturday marked my 21st Visit to an Orthodox Church!

I am at the point now where my "visits" are no longer that of an outsider but rather, not visits at all...I am just going to church. So from now on my posts will be less about observations I make in the service and more about what is going on in my life as it relates to my faith and journey towards Orthodoxy.

That being said, my 21st visit was a good one. I really enjoyed and was moved by the litanies. I like that the priest mentions a petition and the congregation responds with a "Lord have Mercy" or "Grant it, O Lord." Nothing, in terms of petitions, is left out. We pray for our families, country, President, armed service...basically everything that touches us, we offer back to God, asking Him for His blessings.

Let me switch gears a bit and talk about my visit with my Pastor some weeks ago. (Like I promised I would) First of all, I had meant to blog earlier about this but I have been working a lot of overtime on the weekends and I hadn't been in a writing mood -Note to Michael, that includes answering emails :) - but I am rested enough and shall proceed.

I met with my Pastor who is a caring shepherd and told him about my being drawn towards Orthodoxy. He said his first reaction is that I shouldn't leave because God, in his view, has called me to the congregation I am at now. That is where I am apart of. That is where my immediate family is. This is where I have a ministry. I acknowledged to him all of this. God is always in the business of drawing us closer to Him and He knew that at the congregation I am at now is where I could grow. So I am grateful for all my years in the Church of the Nazarene....but it isn't enough.

Pastor acknowledged that he very possibly was reacting the way he was because he was feeling protective of one "of his sheep." He does understand that God can and does lead people to different churches but he is concerned that my wife and kids do not feel the same. That to him is a red flag. (That to me, is a concern as well but maybe for different reasons),

Pastor went on to say that the Orthodox church had nothing that the Nazarene church didn't. (I had to repress a smile; I didn't want to be disrespectful). He misunderstood my search for the ancient church as a search for the perfect church. I understand the difference and know when, by God's Grace, I become a catechumen, I shall be with imperfect people. What I did not explain was that the Orthodox Church had "better tools" to work on our imperfections. I tried to relate some of that but did a poor job. I spoke of the Incarnation making physical matter "sanctified" and related that to Icons and how this is a means to Salvation and he, of course, called it idolatry.

I must say I left the interview knowing he cared about me and my journey. He truly is a descent man and caring shepherd. He gave me the phone number to a religion professor at our denominational college and asked that I speak with her. She would give objective information regarding all my ponderings. That, dear reader, I will tell you about next blog post!

I promise :)

More comedy jokes and solemn Worship on the 20th visit.

If I ever had the idea that Orthodox Christians were always serious because they were always worshiping the Triune God, then I was wrong. Yes, Orthodox are very serious about worship and why not? The Lord is righteous, perfect and transcendent and worthy of all worship! But even Orthodox Christians like to crack jokes every now and then....but more on that later.

As to worship, I was impressed last night on the use of the Psalms. I have known for a long time that Psalms were an important part of ancient Worship. The early Christians, since they were jews, did what they knew to do and that was use the Psalter -and with 150 Psalms, there's a lot to choose from - and that practice is continued extensively in the Orthodox Church. My own Protestant Parish uses old Hymns (although going back to the 1800's is hardly old when you consider the Hymnography of the Orthodoxy Church which goes back centuries!) and they use choruses a great deal, what I have heard called "Worship ditties." While these choruses have some substance, they do not possess the richness found in the Psalms. After all, which is better, singing a song based on a Psalm or singing the Psalm itself? The Church opted for the Psalter and I understand the benefit of that more deeply now. Last night, singing Psalm 1, I was brought back to when I was a young man, in my teens, actually when I memorized the entire Psalm. True it is a half a dozen verses and not a great feat but committing that to memory helped me in a small crisis of faith I was having at the time. Singing that Psalm last night brought me great comfort and helped me to do what we all should do in Church - Worship!

Now, as to "More Comedy Jokes" - a phrase I stole from Steve Martin from a comedy album he did decades ago - Fr Gary was commemorating saints of the day and we came to Martinianos the Righteous, who, it turns out threw himself into a burning fire in order to calm his own lusts as a harlot was trying to seduce him...that would work pretty well, I think. Well, as Fr Gary mentioned his name, Deacon Ken whispered to me, "Martinianos, is he the patron saint of bars, alone with his sister Olive?" I must admit, even though I don't like martinis, I broke away from praying for a few moments in order to chuckle...:)

After Vespers, I gave Deacon Ken an Air Force Web belt and Canteen to give to his son Billy who is in the Civil Air Patrol. (He was not in Vespers that night). Also, I chatted with Tammy a bit who was happy to read about herself on last week's blog post. She had emailed me with a link to Ancient Faith Radio for a discussion with His Emminence Hillarion Alfeyev, Chairman of the Moscow Patriarchate for External Affairs, and Metropolitan of Valakalamsk about Icons. It was very good and I had responded to her email with a link to my blog.

I know, I know, I said I would write about my meeting with my Pastor...I will...just not tonight :)

Spending Friday night with an Icon...19th visit!

The Kursk Root Icon of the Mother of God came to our Parish last Friday. It was quite an event.

A molieben* service was to begin at 7pm but I read on the website to show up at 6, which I did. I was actually very early but it gave me a chance to socialize a bit which I don't often do on Saturday nights because I usually rush out to get my son from work. I walked into the parish hall where Tammy and others were preparing the coffee, punch and fasting foods for the reception afterwards. She was very excited not only because of the Icon but because Bishop Michael was to be there. Indeed, a host of clergy showed.

*a molieben service is a supplication prayer service in honor of

either our Lord Jesus Christ, the Mother of God, or a particular saint.

I met a man named George who introduced himself by saying his last name was the same as his first only he pronounced his last name in a different language. (Russian? probably...they abound around here). He was visiting from a parish up north and traveled over an hour to get here.

Deacon Ken was happy to see me. As we stood in the vestibule outside the hallway, he motioned for me to step outside. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what he wanted but then he asked "How did your meeting with your pastor go?" I had forgotten he reads my blog and I mentioned last post that I met with my protestant Pastor. I gave him a brief account of what was said (next blog post, dear reader, I promise to detail it all!) but I cut it short because we were standing in the cold and I began to shiver. He had the benefit of a robe to warm him but, alas, as a layman had no such garb. :)

In the middle of our conversation, Father Gary walked by and greeted me by name, I yelled back, "Hello, Pastor....I mean, Father." Yikes, my protestant is showing!

The Service itself was beautiful. Above you see a picture. I stood in the back and am not seen.

I was struck with how even though this was a service that honor the Theotokos (Mary, Mother of God), it really was all about Jesus. Everything flowed back to Him. Protestants often criticize Catholics and Orthodox for worshiping Mary but if they only understood that all is said and done to glorify Christ then they would see that they, too, Protestants do similar things on a smaller scale. I used to attend a mega-church in Nebraska that had a huge youth/young adult group and the Pastor's wife, Sister J, was venerated almost as much as our Theotokos. They honored Sister J for her piety, love and dedication to Christ. (and rightly so, by the way- she was an amazing example). How much more should we honor a humble women who willing became the vessel to house the incarnate God?

I was also struck with how the Orthodox really know how to do reverent worship. The beginning of the service started with the ringing of the bells, the first time I have ever heard the church bells ring. Also, through out the entire service, the Icon itself was incensed non stop by two deacons (one, our very own Deacon Ken!) I enjoyed it all very much, even though my feet started to hurt but I was not about to sit down! I am not that old, yet!

At the end of the service we all lined up to venerate the Icon. We were instructed to please keep quiet and the only sound should be that of the choir singing. Of course, people chatted anyway and it reminded me of my protestant experiences where Pastors would entreat the faithful to have respectful silence but, alas, it didn't work. I guess people are the same all over.

Father Gary is second from the right

After the service we went to the Parish hall for a slide show (called a photo montage by the priest who presented it). Deacon Ken helped me from committing Orthodox social suicide by removing my hat inside the building. It turns out that only bishops and certain clergy have the honor of wearing headgear indoors. Who knew? Ken said, "people will say, Oh, look! A catechumen!" Hey, I've been called worse. Ken sat next to me during the slide show.

It was a great evening and I am glad I came. As I was walking out the Parish Hall, Father Gary, who was in a conversation, touched my arm and said, "See you later, Jim." I said, "Good bye, Father." ... I'm glad I got that right this time!

18th Visit - Father Gary away and my views on greeting with a holy kiss

not exaclty greeting one another with a holy kiss but what I am used to!

I am getting to the point now where the "newness" of the Orthodox Worship experience is not new anymore and where attending Vespers is becoming routine. Now this is good and this is bad. Good, because, it shows a sense of belonging and comfort on my part but bad in that I can, believe it or not, become complacent and fall into a rut of "just going to church." One thing I like about keeping this blog is it forces me to engage myself in the Worship and to pay attention, although I don't have a lot to say regarding my 18th visit in the way of "new observations."

Father Gary was away on vacation so retired priest Sergius was conducting the service. He has a rich deep voice which is pleasant to hear as he chants. I did notice that during a particular prayer where "Fathers and Mothers" and "Brothers and Sisters" are mentioned, Fr Sergius opted to only mention the Fathers and Brothers, omitting the Mothers and Sisters as printed in our Vespers Service book. I wonder if he was going "old school" and the mention of only the masculine? Perhaps his was the original version and the Mothers and sisters were added for "modern Americans?" I don't know.

I also noticed that as Fr Sergius handed the incense to one of the altar boys that I did not see the customary "kiss on the hand." I immediately concluded that this honor was only for an active and not retired priest....but I was wrong. Later, when I had a better view and could actually see the altar boy (before his view was blocked by the doors) I saw, the second time, that he gave Fr Sergious an "air kiss" about a foot away from his hands. Now, what is that about?

Speaking of kisses, I am having a hard time feeling comfortable with the 'triple kisses' even if they are cool triune reminders! It just isn't part of my culture and although the bible says to greet each other with a holy kiss, I wonder if I wouldn't like a holy handshake instead? But I need to get out of my comfort zone.

I did meet with my Pastor on Saturday, right after the prayer breakfast. I want to give that due attention so I will hopefully blog about it in a few days.

Thanks for all your prayers!