Orthodoxy or Bust!

So Happy~ Going to Divine Liturgy this morning!

2012-01-29T05:49:00.002-05:00

Just a quick post to let you know that I am going to Divine Liturgy this morning...I will fill you in all about it!

Thanks for all your prayers and support!

Visit #46 ~ Thinking of a Protestant Sermon during Vespers

2012-01-16T06:02:00.001-05:00

Pastor Del

I kept thinking, as I enjoyed visit #46 at my Orthodox parish, about a sermon my protestant Pastor preached on New Years day. That's him above! He retold the story of Moses and the Isrealites at a dead end, caught between the Red Sea and the approaching army. Moses acted in obedience to God by raising the staff so the waters could be parted. "It was only at the point of obedience that God parted the Red Sea" My Pastor concluded his sermon, asking, "What is it that God is asking you to do?"

Well, I guess the answer to that is, become Orthodox. In fact, that thought has been more intense now than it ever has been -Even as I worshiped the Trinity during Vespers, I couldn't shake that thought. So I guess it is time to act. I am going to have to start going to the Divine Liturgy.

Those who have read my blog know what a struggle this is for me.

So keep me in your prayers.

Two more things before I "sign off" ~

*Before I left to pick up my son from work, I had a short chat with Fr. Ken. We talked a little bit about old calendar verses new calendar. He currently serves a parish that is old calendar and I asked him if it got confusing hanging out between two jurisdictions. He said yes. Also, I asked him how to do "The asking the priest for a blessing thing" and he showed me step by step the process. How to hold my hands, when to kiss the priest's hands. I know it's no big thing but I tend to mess things like that up. Plus, I am just so used to hand shakes.

*My protestant pastor is a really good preacher and has been very helpful in bringing me closer to Christ, both by his words and his example. Below is the sermon I referenced above. at about 19 minutes in is when he asks the question that is causing me to act. The great thing about my Pastor is he knows we must all obey God's direction. Even when I talked to him way back when about becoming Orthodox, he didn't like it but knew enough that if God is leading than we must obey. Take a listen. (By the way, I am the one who "produces" the sermon's for our church's website. I like the intro and outro ~ sounds just like a radio show )

So sad I won't be at Vesper's tonight!

2011-12-31T15:29:00.001-05:00

I planned on going to Vesper's tonight which they moved to 5pm because of New Year's eve but, sadly, I caught my son's flu and am under the weather so I best stay home...:(

In the meantime, Happy New year to all and you can listen to my daughter singing the classic "What Child is this" which she sang at my Protestant Church on Christmas eve!

Christmas!

2011-12-25T00:31:00.002-05:00

Yes, it's Christmas!

In my protestant church I am responsible for church sign which announces different things to the world. All of December I posted an announcement inviting all to the "Candlelight Communion Worship Service on Christmas Eve" Well, I attended that service with my family and as soon as it was over, I changed the sign so the world would see this! It's not very protestant sounding but it is true!

Christ is born! Glorify Him!

Visit #45 ~ Happy to be there!

2011-12-18T05:55:00.000-05:00

photo by Rob Kliene, used under the creative commons license.

check out more photos at:: http://www.flickr.com/photos/rkleine/

When I was a young man, attending a pentacostal Church, our pastor would ask the question from the pulpit, "Are you happy to be in the house of the Lord tonight?" We would all answer "Amen" and the service would continue with a rousing hymn of some sort.

Well, If Father Gary had asked a similar question, I might have reverted to my pentacostal ways and screamed a hearty "Amen!" It truly was good to be chanting psalms and hymns. As we move closer to the celebration of the Nativity, I find it very edifying to spend time in Worship. I found myself thinking, "I want to be a part of these people" ~ a people who put worship of Christ first! Vespers is a time of reverence and a time of Awe!

Fr Ken was in attendance tonight. He sang with the choir as Fr. Gary led us. Afterwards, I spoke with Fr Ken for a while and, as I greeted him with the triune kiss of peace, he smiled because he noticed I was growing a goatee. 'Ah, you are becoming one of us" he said, or something like that. I told him that it was my wife's idea and if she knew the special significance that the Orthodox place on beards, she would opt to have me hairless! I will post a picture of myself when it is grown in.

We also chatted about his parish that he is pastor of in Manville, NJ. They recently moved back into their church because it had been flooded out due to Hurricane Irene. "I paid a hundred dollars per pew at usedpews.org," Fr Ken said. Given that new pews cost $2000 each, he was very happy for the bargain. He is pastor of a Carpatho-Russian Parish and they are on the old calendar so he invited me to Christmas eve service in January. I may go but it is over an hour and 15 minutes from my house....but I might!

Speaking of Christmas eve, I made a video invite for my protestant parish. I am in it (sadly). The lighting is bad, the volume is horrible but it is good for a non~professional like me! I had trouble with Windows movie maker recognizing some of the files so I had to retake some of the footage. Anyway. take a listen and enjoy.
At the end of the video is my pastor who promised to visit Vespers with me sometime in January!

Celebrating Herman on Visit 44!

2011-12-12T04:12:00.003-05:00

Ah, no....not this Herman;

We celebrated St. Herman of Alaska and what a man he turned out to be! Fr Gary's Homily said that many times we are told that saints are just like us (thus making holiness an achievable goal) but Herman, said Fr. Gary, was not. He then recounted his long, treacherous journey to Alaska, his many hardships and many of them were self-induced for ascetic purposes. This man was amazing and he brought the Gospel to the Aleuts, a tribe in Alaska! I especially like the story where Herman was able to pick up a log that 4 men couldn't manage~ talk about your super-saint!

I am glad during this Advent period there are more services being offered. Now it is true that I am not keeping the Nativity fast but I can see how those who are would be refreshed by these services much like people are refreshed with the pre-sanctified liturgy during Lent. As it is, since I cannot make every Saturday Vespers service, these extra times help me.

I was feeling a bit self-conscience because I was wearing sneakers. Yes, I had "dressy" pants and a "dressy" shirt on but before I left for Vespers, I took the dog in the back yard to "do her business" and put on my sneakers because it was a bit muddy in the back. Well, I guess I forgot I had them on! Oh, well. I certainly didn't mean any disrespect and I surmised, after I discovered it, it was better to just wear the sneakers than turn around in my car and retrieve my shoes, making me be late for Vespers.

I scooted right out of there without having the chance to greet anyone because my son was waiting to get picked up at work.

St Herman, pray for us!

43rd time in the Orthodox Church - Full parking lot but not a full church?

2011-12-07T03:18:00.006-05:00

photo by Daniel Spils, used under the creative commons license. check out more photos at:http://www.flickr.com/photos/danielspils/

So even though I had one of the worst work days in a while and even though I was totally exhausted from 11 hours on the job and one hour each way commuting and, even though my son begged me to go to my protestant parish for our weekly Old Testament survey taught by my pastor, I decided I was going to Vespers!

My son Justin was a little offended that I would choose Vespers over going to the Bible Study (which is taught very well by my Pastor) because he took it as a slight against him. I tried to explain to him that I really needed to be in Worship and not just sit around discussing the Bible. Don't get me wrong, my Pastor does an excellent job in the bible Study and he always makes sure there is practical application (so we are doers of the Word and not just hearers) but nothing beats Worshiping the Triune God. In the end, we decided that my wife would drop Justin off at the Bible Study and I would pick him up after Vespers.

When I arrived at the Church, I couldn't believe how many cars were in the parking lot! I had always heard that St. Nicholas was a popular Saint and now I believed it! I arrived a little late - Hey, give me a break; remember my 11 hour day :) - and I noticed that a lot of people were still mulling about, smoking cigarettes and a lady even said hello to me. I thought, this is odd? Shouldn't they be inside already? Vespers started 5 minutes ago! It wasn't until I noticed the full parish hall that I realized that Alcoholics Anonymous met on Monday nights and when I walked into the Narthex and spotted everyone inside, I realized it was just the same regular Vespers crowd. Well, that's okay. It was good to be here!

What can I say about the Worship? It's always good! I did have to adjust for the prokemien (Don't know if that is spelled correctly). Instead of of chanting "The Lord is King, He is robed in Majesty" we said something else which I cannot now remember. Different phrases for different days of the week. Since Vespers is usually always on a Saturday night, I am used to "The Lord is King." But the change was good!

We had Litya as is the custom and after I went up with everyone else for a little anointing of oil on my head and to have some wine dipped bread, I returned to my seat and was greeted by Matushka Mary. She was happy to see me and told me a story about how when she was a kid and someone received oil on the head and when they went home anyone else in the family who could not make the service would rub their heads against the person with the oil to "get a blessing." She then reminded me that the oil is holy and not to just wipe it off willy~nilly (willy~nilly are my words, not hers).

That raises a question. Back during lent, I believe, there was a service where Father Gary, at the end, anointed everyone with oil on the head and hands and he went out of the way to say this is a Sacrament of the Church and only the faithful should participate. Others should come up for a blessing, which I did. Now, is the oil I got on St. Nicholas's Vespers service, a sacrament as well? If so, I should not participate. Does anyone know?

This Saturday is the cookie walk! Maybe, I can get my wife to make some cookies to donate...I'll let you know. I would bake them myself but then, I believe, we would lose potential converts. :)

Gonna See the Real Santa Clause ~ or ask for his prayers, at least!

2011-12-05T03:22:00.004-05:00

photo by Richard Elzey, used under the creative commons license.

check out more photos at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/elzey/

December 6th is St. Nicolas' day so my parish is having Vespers the night before!

That means tonight, God willing, I will be in Church praying and asking for prayers.

Hey, I have nothing against the legend of Santa Clause and all that....I mean, who doesn't love fat little men, breaking and entering in order to leave gifts. But I love St. Nicholas, whom the Santa legend is based upon. He is a popular saint because of his generosity and humility....and, also, you got to love a guy who will slap heretics in the face!

So, tonight, God Willing, I will be in Vespers.

The truth of things hath revealed thee to thy flock as a rule of faith, an icon of meekness, and a teacher of temperance; for this cause, thou hast achieved the heights by humility, riches by poverty. O Father and Hierarch Nicholas, intercede with Christ God that our souls be saved

42 ~ The Meaning of life and also the number of Services I've attended.

2011-11-27T06:42:00.003-05:00

photo by Patrick Hoesly, used under the creative commons license.

check out more photos at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/zooboing/

Yes, I liked Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe and one of my favorite parts is when the Super computer spends millions of years figuring out the answer to life, universe and everything. And the Answer, according to Douglas Adams, is.....42!

Well, 42 is also the number of times I have been to the Orthodox Church. It was good to be in a place where Worship is taken so seriously! Fr Ken was leading us in Vespers with no Fr Gary in sight. This is the first time I have seen Fr Ken lead Vespers as a priest, although he did assist as a Deacon. Also, serving with him was his son, Bill. Since I am the eternal observer, even when I am "lost" in worship, I did notice that Bill, who was the lone altar server that evening, wasn't kidding when he told me, "I'm not going to kiss his hand." When he took the censor out of his father's hand, he just took it~ no kiss. Hey, that's okay! I bet it has to be a little weird for him.

That is one thing I like about Orthodoxy~ it's not about the rules, even though they are very strict.

Fr Ken gave a very short homily and it is the first I ever heard from him. He preached on the Gospel reading to be read the next morning but I was very familiar with the story. An old lady hunched over for 18 years and Jesus heals her but the pharisees are upset, of course, because the healing was done on the Sabbath.

I guess, in Pharisaical Judaism it is about the rules...and nothing else!

I liked that the homily was very short. In my protestant parish, although they do spend time in singing songs and their is a spirit of Worship, the main focus is the sermon! And although my pastor is very good, there are times when the illustration/story he tells becomes the centerpiece of his sermon, instead of just a simple explanation of the Bible. But, on this point, I will not judge. Others seemed to be very moved by his sermon and for that I am glad.

I had to rush out of there to get my son who was waiting to be picked up from work so I scooted right out of there. Next week, my wife and I are visiting relatives up north so no Vespers for me. I have been in contact with my pastor regarding Vespers and he said he hopes to go with me on "Orthodox Christmas". I think he is going by what he knows and he thinks that all Orthodox celebrate Christmas in January. That's old calendar, right?

Anyway, keep me in prayer this advent season, as I keep all of you!

Just for Fun...and a question, while I am at it.

2011-11-15T19:19:00.030-05:00

This is a video I made for the youth group I run at my protestant parish. We usually meet once a month and we play group games, have a time of prayer and a devotion from the Bible....and we have, from time to time, thrown the occasional pie in the face of a willing and eager kid. So this girl Shellie had been begging me for weeks to throw a pie in her face so I promised that at the next meeting everyone would see her get a pie in her face but as you can see from the video it didn't happen exactly like she thought it would. (I kept my promise~ everyone at the youth group saw Shellie get hit with a pie but it was on this video instead of "Live"). The look of surprise on Shellie's face is priceless because she NEVER expected her mom to throw the pie in her face...anyway, watch the video, it's cute.

Now something I have been wondering. Protestants, especially Evangelicals, are very good at having different ministries for specific groups. I, myself, am involved in Children's minsitries and a lot of resources are given towards that in order to provide an atmosphere where kids want to come to church, providing them with spiritual input and fun. My own parish does this well. We have a fantastic Bible Quizzing program where kids compete and learn a book of the Bible. We have a Christian Scouting program that teaches life skills and, again, spiritual things.

We have Children's Church, which takes place during the regular Worship time but, I confess, I dislike the idea of kids leaving the service to "do their own thing". I would rather have the kids participate with the whole church instead of segregating them.

This idea of targeting and giving special attention to the youth of our congregation comes from a very real desire to keep our children interested in church and making it a place kids want to come to. It seems to work. On the whole, the kids of our congregation are not "being dragged to church" but are eager to attend. In fact, I have heard stories of children waking up their parents so they wouldn't be late for Sunday Morning Worship. Our parish seems to be able to put "fun" into church without, I believe, sacrificing any spiritual formation. Evangelicals, from what I can see, have been willing to adopt from pop culture, all in an effort to keep kids interested.

I have an annual event which is very much adopted from pop culture. It is Messy Game Night

which borrows from games and antics on the Nickelodeon television channel. Yes, there is slime, Yes, it makes a big mess and, yes, the kids absolutely love it.

These are pictures of a kid getting slimed at Messy Game Night, used with the permission of Jonathan Fonner (The Photographer) and Sean's mother, (The kid getting slimed)

And, at the event, we do have a "messy devotion"; that is, we use an object lesson to teach a spiritual point. Granted, the kids are more distracted at this event and don't give full attention to the spiritual input as they do at other events but it is still there (as it is in every event we do for the children).

Now all the while I was running Messy Game Night this past summer I was thinking, "I can't imagine something like this happening at the Orthodox Parish I attend Vespers at." It just seems like a very un-Orthodox thing to do -I mean, do Orthodox let their kids have Chocolate syrup fights:) - Keep in mind I really am not involved in the life of the Parish at the Orthodox Church except by attending Vespers on a Saturday night. I don't know how they do Sunday School for the kids. I don't know how they do adult education for us older people, I don't know what they do for teens. I don't even know how they drink coffee at coffee hour because I have never been there. So all I am doing is guessing.

My question is this: Would the Orthodox Church see any value in having events like this? Or is it seen as too extreme? Messy Game Night is the most popular event I run all year and even kids who don't like getting messy like to attend just so they can watch the others. But, would that justify it in the mind of the Orthodox Church? Or would such a thing vary from parish to parish?

The reason I ask is I believe paying special attention to the youth and kids in parish life is essential to the vitality of the church. Maybe, the Orthodox agree with that statement but would see other ways to accomplish that. I do get the sense that events like Messy Game Night would be seen as wasteful and too extreme in Orthodox eyes who, are after all, very conservative. I too, believe it or not, am conservative but I like to do creative things that is outside of the norm. I think by doing that, you really get a person's attention. And when you get there attention, you hit with the Gospel.

So I would love all those who are in Orthodoxy to comment on this. Please enlighten me! What "out of the box" thinking do the Orthodox do to get the attention of their youth?

41st time at an Orthodox Church and some questions about Incense, candles and Icons.

2011-11-13T05:08:00.011-05:00

photo by Daniel Kedinger, used under the creative commons license.

check out more photos at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/danielkedinger/

I arrived just before Father Gary was to open the royal doors and begin with "Blessed is the Kingdom...." As is my practice, I venerated the Icon in the Narthex but because Fr Gary was about to start, I didn't want to be caught in the front of the church when the doors opened so I just sat down in the back, waiting for Vespers to begin.

QUESTION: Is it rude of me not to venerate the Icons?

I did notice that one lady came in late and stood in the middle section and waited for Fr Gary to finish incensing the icon in the middle and then she made her rounds around the church venerating the icons while Fr Gary was behind the royal doors and the choir was singing a Psalm. I guess I just feel like I am drawing attention to myself by doing that during the service. Perhaps I am still too Western in my thinking, like this is a "show" I am interrupting.

I also noticed that a lady and two children came in (also late) and after they venerated the icons they lit candles and placed them in the candle stand. I imagine this is cool for kids to do and one of the physical actions of worship that can really help a child to participate.

QUESTION: What is the purpose of lighting the candles?

I would like to know what they represent and is there a difference in understanding between the Orthodox and the Roman Catholic Church regarding candles. Also, is lighting candles only for the initiated or can non-Orthodox light candles as well?

One of the things I love about Orthodox Worship is the incense. To me, the smell takes me to a different world and helps me realize I am in church. It is one of my favorite parts of Vespers to watch Fr Gary incense the icons, then to see him walk to the back of the church and incense the icons there as well. Then he always ends by coming back to the front and incensing the people as well. As Fr Gary is facing them, sending incense their way, the people bow.

QUESTION: Why do people bow when the Priest is incensing them?

I have heard it said that incense represents the prayers of the faithful. (from the book of Revelation). Does it represent anything else. And why exactly are the icons incensed?

I have been going to Vespers for over a year and I have thought about these things but never really taken the time to ask. I suppose when I become a catechumen, that would be a good time to get these questions answered but, I figured with all the knowledgeable people who read this blog, I could get a head start.

Today we remembered St. John Chrysostom. He is the Bishop whose liturgy is celebrated almost every Sunday in the East. Very impressive man. I could use his prayers.

photo by flickr user, bobosh_t, used under the creative commons license.

check out more photos at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/frted/

It was a dark and stormy night....

2011-10-30T06:16:00.005-04:00

...but I decided to go to vespers anyway! (okay, sorry about the melodramatic post title)

Everything seemed to be working against me! I had spent the whole day trying to fix my computer because the sound wasn't working so my friend James from church showed up and fixed it. (Apparently if you have cords stuck in the wrong sockets, the sound won't work...who knew?) So James left and I tried to fix my Audacity program so that it could record one of the several podcasts I produce and....THE SOUND WENT OUT AGAIN!. Well, my wife, always the better Christian, said, pray for help. We did and I tried again but to no avail. In such cases, it's always better to step away so I went to my room to take a nap. Well, my son Justin fixed it in two minutes. (Apparently, if plugs aren't all the way plugged in the sound won't work... who knew?)

Usually, when things like that happen, I get in such a bad mood that I don't want to go to any church, Protestant or Orthodox. But, thank God, I jettisoned the feelings and decided to go anyway.

Plus, it really was a dark and stormy night and my son Matthew was at work. My wife didn't want to travel on a night like this and that meant I would pick Matthew up after Vespers which meant he would have to wait over an hour for me. So there was the whole guilt thing keeping me away from Vespers. But thank God, I jettisoned the false guilt and decided to go anyway.

And when I arrived- and this would make my 40th time at an Orthodox Service - it was great to be in Worship. The Choir director wasn't there so the small group of about 5 singers which included Fr Ken was led by a lady whose name I ashamed to say, I have forgotten. She is a very nice lady and the few discussions we have had reveal she is very welcoming and genuine. I think I will not really get to know these people until I start attending every week and on Sundays. The coffee hour after Divine Liturgy will be a great place to build friendships.

I seem to have been a bit obsessed with clothing at times. That is, I notice what people wear. (Isn't that completely shallow of me?). On my first visits, it seemed to me that everyone dressed up nicely but today I noticed that some were in jeans, not many had ties and one of the choir singers was wearing sweat pants and a white tee shirt that said, "Guard" on it. I am guessing this girl is a lifeguard somewhere and came right from work. The important thing is to remember, for me anyway, that such things really don't matter. It is the heart of Worship that matters. I have to remember that I am there to glorify the Triune God.

I love that, even when the crowd is small, the Worship is still paramount. In evangelical circles, when church crowds are small, the leader sometimes references that and says, "Even though we are small in number, let's really worship the Lord.", as if the small crowd needed to be revved up. In Orthodoxy, we just Worship because that is what we are here to do.

Fr Gary gave a good homily about the weather, saying we pray for seasonable weather all the time and, no matter what the weather is, God is with us. Short and to the point, that is what I like about Fr. Gary's sermons.

I left rather quickly after Vespers because my son was waiting to be picked up.

I am looking forward to my next visit.

Birthday Happiness at Vespers!

2011-10-15T14:52:00.007-04:00

A week ago last Saturday was October 8th, which marked my birthday, Deacon Ken's ordination to the Priesthood and my 39th time at an Orthodox Church.

I had plans of spending the day with my family and my dogs (well, my dogs are part of my family so I guess I am being redundant) and then asking who would like to come with me to Vespers on my birthday. I figured my family would be more inclined to accompany me to Church as a favor to me on my birthday. Well, it turns out most of my kids had to work and, after spending the day with my wife, my son Matthew and my dogs at a park- which was great fun for me and a wonderful way to spend my birthday, by the way - I asked if my wife would like to go to church with me. She said, "Do you really want me to?" This she asked with a tone that said, "I really don't want to go."

I told her, honestly, that I didn't want her to go if she didn't want to. I truly believe in the "Come and See" approach and don't want anyone to be guilted into going to church.

I had half expected such a response so I wasn't really as hurt as I thought I might have been. We then talked a little bit about how she had been at two Greek Orthodox Weddings and they were just too strange for her and she really had no interest in going. Again, "Come and see" is the way to go. She came and saw and didn't like what she saw, I guess.

As I was getting dressed, Karen told me that if she had better clothes available that she would have gone with me. I believed her. (Nice clothes were in the laundry room, getting ready to be washed). But I don't want her going if she has no desire. Coercion is no way to introduce people to Orthodoxy. After all, I was scared to death the first time I went to Vespers and I wanted to go! Imagine forcing someone to go who had no interest.

When I arrived at Vespers, it was really a blessing to Worship. I arrived a bit late and sat (or stood, rather) right behind the newly ordained Fr. Ken. At the end of Worship we all went to venerate the Icons and Fr Ken, being clergy, was right after Fr. Gary in the line. By the time I got in the line, I noticed that Fr. Ken had stood to the side so as to greet people who wanted to congratulate him on his Ordination. I saw how they were grasping his hand and kissing it as is the custom to honor the hands that are used in bringing the Body and Blood to the Faithful. Fr. Ken gave his blessing and a hug to each. I had said to Fr. Ken in the past when I learned that he was to be ordained that, "Well, I ain't gonna kiss your hand." I said this jokingly but he responded, in honesty, that he didn't want me to do anything that made me uncomfortable. Well, as I was in line I fully intended give him that honor but, as I grasped his hands he gave me the triune kiss on cheek (Besides being Trinitarian, it seems very European) and he gave me his blessing. Well, I was so pleased to receive his blessing and I was so quick to congratulate him, that I forgot to kiss his hand! Man, a fine convert I am going to turn out to be!

Fr. Ken

As I was leaving, Tammy grabbed me and gave me a quick greeting, wishing me many years as she wished me a happy birthday. I rushed out of there so I could go home and have cake and Ice cream with my family.

All in all, it was a great day and I look forward to going back again.

38th time in an Orthodox Church ~ celebrating St. Innocent of Alaska

2011-10-07T15:39:00.006-04:00

The booklet cover of the Anakhist we used Wednesday.

I drove into the Church Parking lot this past Wednesday night and parked where I always park - On the far end of the lot, away from all the others. I am not sure why I do this. I always joke to myself that if someone would ask why I park there, I would tell them, "Oh, that? Well, it's the Protestant Interloper Parking Section." I am not sure others would find that funny but, hey, you got laugh when you hear the word Interloper. Although, in truth I am no interloper, more like a fly on the wall- a fly who participates to some degree.

I almost didn't come tonight. You see, on Wednesday my protestant church has Bible studies (really more like discussions based on last Sunday's sermon) and also activities for the kids and the youth group for teens/young adults. Well, my wife usually doesn't go but she promised to help with the kids thing - some sore of craft - so she drove my two kids to church with her. My oldest son begged me to come to the sermon discussion instead (trying to use catholic quilt really - and he isn't even catholic!) but I wanted to Worship so off I went to the Orthodox church for the 38th time.

It was the Akathist Hymn to St. Innocent and, man, it was great. It started out with the Trisigion and then progressed to a couple of Psalms. Then Fr. Gary chanted his life in verse while we, and the choir responded. It was fantastic! I can see that Orthodoxy is very concerned in getting content to the faithful. I learned so much about St. Innocent just by paying attention. Although Fr. Gary or Deacon Ken, didn't say, "Let us Attend," I certainly did. Not only did I learn about Innocents life and humility (and closeness to God), I was able to ask for his intercession on my behalf. Not a bad way to spend the evening.

Afterwards when we all gathered in a circle to chat, Reader John expressed how different it is to chant and sing about St. Innocent instead of just reading about him in your living room. Deacon Ken chimed in with Jesus' words, "Where two or three are gathered...." And that is true, the Holy Spirit could be felt because we gathered in Jesus' Name.

I left knowing I had been in a good place.

Oh, I am hoping that some or all of my family may attend Vespers this Saturday night. More about that later but please keep that in prayer.

St. Innocent, pray for us!

37th time to the Orthodox Church ~ Simply Worship.

2011-09-25T05:51:00.007-04:00

photo of a girl praying in church by Peter Grima, used under the creative commons license.
check out more photos at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/wwwpgflickrcom/

This will be the third week in a row that I attended Vespers. In the past, there was usually a two or even three week interval between visits (or, more accurately, attendance, since I am way past just visiting). Now, this has been very helpful, not having such a long gap in between Saturday nights as it pertains to Worship. Usually, when I feel I have been away for some time, it takes some getting used to, "getting back into the swing of things." But, by going every week, I am better able to "enter in" Worship. Now, I know that sounds like the philosophy of a Charismatic, but, there it is.

So it was easier this week, with feelings of less distraction, just to enter into Worship. I was better able to pay attention to the words as they were chanted and say,"Amen" within my heart. Also, last nights homily by Father Gary was about how Wisdom and Righteousness go hand in hand. This worked out well since the readings chanted last night were from Proverbs and the Wisdom of Solomon. Fr Gary tied that into the life of St Sergious of Radonezh who exemplified both Wisdom and Righteousness and whose feast was celebrated that day.

I like Father Gary's Homily's. Now I don't know if they are different on Sunday's but his Saturday night Vesper homilies are short and to the point. This is in great contrast to my protestant experience where the sermon is the center of Worship. Everything builds to that point. Hymns are sung, Scripture is read, all to support the message of the Sermon. Now while that can be a good thing and help people on their spiritual journey, I much prefer the Orthodox emphasis on Sacraments and the time tested lectionary which is older than Protestant churches have even been around.

So I will, hopefully, continue going to Vespers every week.

The next step is to drop out of my protestant church and start going Sunday Mornings.

St. Sergious, pray for me to that end!

three dozen visits, Priest's wives reading my blog, circles of people, Missions and the 1812 Overture!

2011-09-18T02:37:00.013-04:00

A circle of friends, much like what formed after Vespers last night. photo by Chris Lim, used under the creative commons license. check out more photos at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/cats-eye-view/

Last night was my 36th visit to the Orthodox Church and I am happy to say that I noticed that while I have been going to Church a lot, I very rarely go two weeks in a row. But I did this time. I have come to realize that not having these somewhat long gaps of time in between visits will help me in my journey closer to Christ and Orthodoxy. It makes sense. If I were going to college and only attended class every third week, I would turn out to be a poor student. How much more important not to just audit Divine Services. And yesterday it would have been easy to skip Vespers because I was with my wife at a triplet's birthday party. My wife helps a local family watch triplets and they just turned one. I ended up leaving before the cake was served (but my wife knew that going in) and it was tempting to stay so as to not be rude but I knew I had to go. As I get closer to Orthodoxy, I am going to have to manage family time carefully so my wife and kids don't get shafted. A relationship with them is a priority from God but so is Church. I must remember that.

Vespers was great, although it seemed a bit sparsely attended. Deacon Ken was not there, although his son Will was serving. I really enjoyed Worship, especially the veneration of the Cross. There is something about a full prostration that feels right. I know that others might think we are Muslims by our prostrations but Western Christianity doesn't know what it's missing by not involving their whole bodies in Worship. I also very much loved the Prokeimenon, The Lord is King! Below is the Prokeimenon, although not in English. Cool Stuff!

Prokeimenon - The Lord is King

After Vespers, Father Gary's wife, Mary greeted me and, with a smile, said, "So, you write about me in my blog?" She must have been referring to Visit #32 where I mention how she told me, in jest, that I was sitting in the wrong seat. Read about it here: http://orthodoxyorbust.blogspot.com/2011/07/sitting-in-wrong-place-in-visit-32.html

Mary went on to explain how she knew I could take a joke, since I have been attending for so long that I would not be driven away but such a playful act. She figured that you have to have fun in life. (and I agree). She went on to explain how the Lord had a sense of humor, too because she had been raised a daughter of a Priest, lived in rectory's all here life and wanted no part of it. Well, she meets Fr Gary, then marries him while he is still a Roman Catholic and he announces one day that he wants to be an Orthodox Priest. Well, looks like the joke is on Mary~ but I think she can take a joke, even a Divine one!

This discussion took place in the Nave and it was there I observed what often happens after Worship. Circles of discussion form. There were two circles actually, one for the "young people" and one for us older folks. What's great about that is everyone is included and can listen or talk as desired. I myself don't feel comfortable enough to just join a circle because, believe it or not, I can be very shy, so I high tailed it out of the Church. As I walked on the path I noticed people emptying the back of a car, carrying tables and chairs, I asked if I could help and, after opening the door for them, I went to retrieve a table. I am most comfortable in a group of people when I am involved in some sort of work. For me, it makes conversation easier than when I am just standing around. I guess I feel useful, too.

I asked Tammy, who was in the parish hall, what the tables were for. She told me that we were setting up for coffee hour and the tables and chairs had been at some community event. There, they sold raffle tickets, handed out Orthodox literature, and Fr Gary was on hand to greet people and answer any questions about Orthodoxy. Sounds like evangelism to me, don't it? And to think that one of my complaints about the Orthodox Church- a complaint I shared with Fr. Gary at our IHOP breakfast- is their lack of Evangelism. I am glad to hear of this outreach. I know that Orthodoxy is something that needs to be far more known in America. May God grant us the means and the will to share it!

One last thing, I noticed at the ends of Vespers we sang a short hymn that reminded me of the choral selection sung before the 1812 Overture by Tchaikovsky. Is that possible? I guess I will do some research later but even the tune reminded me of what I heard in the Overture and I even picked out words talking about Victory of enemies which I remember from the piece. If anyone knows, please comment below or send me an email.

Thanks for reading!

Breakfast in the morning ~ 35th visit in the evening!

2011-09-11T08:18:00.013-04:00

click on the link to here an audio message before you read the blog post......

on my way to IHOP (mp3)

...or click here....http://audioboo.fm/boos/469883-on-my-way-to-ihop

A Colorado omelette - That's what Father Gary ordered.

Me? I went with my favorite Swiss Cheese Omelette. Now, I have no idea what a Colorado Omellette is but I do know that food was not the primary reason for our get together. We were there to discuss spiritual matters - specifically, what obstacles there were for me to become Orthodox.

photo by Robert Rowe, used under the creative commons license. Check out more of his work at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/rorowe/

I arrived early and waited outside the IHOP. I remember that I almost missed the exit on the parkwary and the words of Lavenna, a reader and commenterof of my blog, came to mind. "Remember, the closer you get, the more the demons will try to interfere. So beware of obstacles and keep pushing forward! Now had I missed the exit, I would have found the place alright but I think it would have put me out of sorts.Nice try, demons! Finally, Father Gary showed up and I noticed he was just sitting in the car but it turns out he was just finishing up a phone call. As he came out of the car, I noticed he had his collar on (looking like a Roman Catholic priest) and, of course, wearing black. He immediately embraced me and said, "Glory to Jesus Christ." I did not give the proper liturgical response (what is it, by the way?) and I commented on how he was "in uniform." He chuckled.

After we ordered, we got right down to it. I said I wanted to be Orthodox, believed it was the "right Church" but I would alienate my family, who showed no interest whatsoever. They were happy protestants. The funny thing is, I kinda knew what he was going to say. First of all, he wasn't going to tell me what to do. He said, it is possible for me to stay where I am since I am already in a "faith community" or it is possible that I become a catechumen. It all depends. It would be different if my family were not believers at all, then the choice would be clear. I must look after my salvation.

I went on to talk about my journey, on how I mistook a "call to the ministry" for a genuine desire to get closer to Christ. So I perused it within the "Church of the Nazarene" and longer ago within the Lutheran Church. Both times, my wife did not like the idea, only because she saw my life and how, it did not live up to what a minister ought to be. Both times, doors were shut, I think by the Mercy of God. So it is possible that my wife sees this "Orthodox thing" as just one more thing I am going through.

Father Gary encouraged me to talk with my wife about this and see where she stands. It just comes down to that. I know my wife. She will say, "Do what you want to do, you always do anyway." (Yes, I have acted unilaterally in the past) But I don't want it to be like that. I want her to understand that this is really, I believe, the path I need to take.

Father Gary and I also talked whether or not Bishop Michael would recognize my Roman Catholic Baptism. (I also was baptized in the Assembly of God -a believer's baptism). He believed my RC baptism would suffice. We also talked about the catechumen process. I told him I would be okay with years, if necessary as it was in the early church and, that, believe it or not, I was in no rush, as long as I knew I was on path to becoming Orthodox. He said, probably not that long. It depended upon my current knowledge. Fr Gary said, a long processes will not necessarily help me because, there is a sense that we are never really ready for Orthodoxy. There is always room for improvement. There will always be a struggle and, that is a good thing. Fr Gary says we would meet one on one, maybe go over a a tape series from the 1980's and that would be a good discussion starter. So while I am willing to go through instruction for years, it'll probably be considerably less than that.

We also discussed evangelism, we talked about his conversion, we talked about the Eagle project he is working on with his son right after this breakfast and Fr Gary offered to meet with my wife (along with his wife, too to make it less awkward) but I don't see a formal "meeting" happening. Perhaps I can invite Fr. Gary and his wife, along with Deacon Ken and his wife over to the house for some coffee and cake or something. (Although to get two clergy to get their calendar's synced might be difficult.)

It was a very good discussion and I am impressed with Fr Gary's pastoral care. He clearly is a shepherd to his flock. I also had been thinking "will we say grace before meals?" Well, as soon as our omlettes arrived, he said, "Let's give thanks" and he crossed himself (and I did too) and he offered a short prayer, almost protestant sounding, asking to bless the hands that prepared it, ect. I am glad we didn't chant a prayer. That might have been awkward. :)

We parted and I thanked him saying, "God willing, I will see you tonight at Vespers."

Speaking of Vespers, my 35th visit that evening was very good. The Icon project seems to be over and all the scaffolding is down. In fact, here is what the front looks like.

Nice, eh?

After Vespers, I did talk to Deacon Ken for a bit and he wanted to know how the meeting went. We spoke briefly about it and we also talked about his upcoming ordination. He is really getting excited about it. I told him I hoped I could be there for it. Ken said that would be great.

So, it was quite a day. I will keep you all informed and, please, keep me in your prayers.

Meeting with Fr Gary this Saturday!

2011-09-05T04:36:00.005-04:00

Fr Gary at Pascha

So this Saturday I scheduled a breakfast with Fr Gary. IHOP, of course.

It's kind of a big deal.

You see, I have been going to this parish for over a year (34 times to be exact ) but conversations I have had with anyone have been very brief. When I think about it, the only people I really talk to at the church is Deacon Ken (soon to be Fr Ken), Tammy and, just "hi" and "good-bye" to Fr. Gary. Most of my discussions at the church have been with Ken. He has taken a special interest in talking to me. This, I know, is motivated by his love for Christ and his church. By taking time to talk to a seeker, he is fulfilling the commandment of Jesus to go into all the world and preach the Gospel.

But this will be the first time I spend a chunk of time with a priest. I know Fr Gary through his homilies and a little bit through our very short conversations so it will be very good to speak to him one-on-one.

Okay, protocol question ~ How do you greet a priest in a public forum? I see him giving the triple kiss after vespers but I never really see anyone kiss his hands. I suspect, Orthodox being who they are, will have no special rules that apply outside the church walls.

So, what will we talk about? I imagine, I will seek guidance on my next step and how to proceed without alienating my wife and kids. I am at the point where, to grow in Christ, I need more.

Should be an interesting meeting.

Of course, I will let you know how it goes.

Pray for me, a sinner.

visit #34 - camping with a bishop?

2011-08-21T06:41:00.006-04:00

photo above by Flickr user eTombotron, used under the creative commons license.

check out more photos at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/48494538@N00/

On my 34th visit....(I have to stop calling these visits, any ideas on what to call them?), I noticed that the Icons were still being painted on the walls and they are looking fantastic, even if the scaffolding is a bit distracting. I love that on the very top of the ceiling in the front is an Icon of Jesus enthroned, surrounded by angels.

As I walked into the church and took my seat, I realized that I forgot to pick up a service book. I debated going back and getting one but instead I thought I would just pay attention really well so I can get a gist of what is going on. (Let us Attend!...good advice during the liturgy.) I was struck again on how everyone worshiped in their individual ways and, yet, it was truly corporate experience. Some crossed themselves constantly, some lifted their hands, some just stood there and I decided I needed to stop observing so much and just worship they way I felt led. So I crossed my self and raised my hands at appropriate times. (raising hands? hey, I was a pentacostal for ten years so it came naturally) I do love that each member of the body of Christ is individual, worshiping in a way that fits themselves and yet, all united as one. I have been to "cult like" places and everyone was lock-step. No room at all for an individual. Not so, in the Body of Christ!

Fr. Gary, in his homily, commented on how Bishop Michael spent some time with the congregation that past weekend. The whole parish camped out on the church grounds (Hierarchs in tents? interesting!) He said it was great to have the Bishop with us because the Bishop is supposed to be with his people. I did, at that time, think about my own pastor at my protestant church, Pastor Del, and how he would apply this to himself - that a pastor needs to be with his people, which he does. So a Bishop is not simply an administrator but, rather, a shepherd, who knows his sheep.

At the end of the Vespers service, Prestberta Mary came up to me as I stood waiting to venerate the Icons before I left the building and said, she was sorry that I could not be with them all at the camp out. She said it was very relaxing and hoped I could make plans to attend next year.

As it turned out, I spent the week end with my wife at a dog event, called "Your dog is worth it, too." An event that you can take your dogs to and raise money to fight cancer at the same time.

Once again, I am caught between two congregations. This is something I must consider. Even if I were to fully convert to Orthodoxy now, I have my wife to consider. Time is something don't have a lot of, like most people I know, so it gets difficult to fully imerse myself in Orthodoxy, other than in my private prayers. And I have been learning, that my private prayers, no matter how Orthodox in nature, are not enough.

Lord, have mercy!

Visit #33 - New Icons on the Wall...and more coming!

2011-08-02T03:36:00.011-04:00

When I walked into Church on Saturday July 23rd for my 33rd visit to an Orthodox Church, I was happily surprised to see all these Icons on the side of the walls. Up until that point, all of the Icons were in the front on the Iconostatis and a few small ones on the front side walls...but walking into this was quite a surprise.

Even though I only go to Vespers and don't know all about what is happening in Parish life, I did know, through reading on their website and by the weekly bulletin that Fr. Gary emails me and other parishioners, that the Church was in the midst of an Icon project. So I expected to see some changes...but this! All at once, there are tons of Large Icons on the wall! Man, that was some pretty fast Icon writing! I later learned, by talking to the very knowledgeable Tammy, that the Icons on the side of the walls were actually painted on Wallpaper somewhere else and quickly applied as Wallpaper is applied so It wasn't fast painting, just efficient wallpaper applying.

However, the Icon writier is going to paint some Icons above the Iconastatis just like Michelangelo ala the Sistine Chapel. It was a bit distracting during the Vespers Service to see Fr Gary and Deacon Ken snake their way through the works as they led us in Worship.

As you can see it looks like a construction zone, but I know if a few weeks that it will look beautiful!

One thing I noticed is that Reader John (Tammy's Husband) is now modifying some of his actions to accommodate the new Icons. You see, as I have mentioned in previous post's, it is John's practice to scan the Icons when, during Vespers, all the Saints are invoked with his eyes ending on the Icon of Christ. Well, now, he has to turn around and scan the side walls, too! But, you know, what he is looking out is absolutely beautiful.

Tammy took a picture of me by one of the Icons with my camera phone. It's a bit blurry but I will post it anyway:

It is a depiction of Jesus' first miracle which is one of my favorite miracles in the Bible. Now, before you think that I am an alcoholic, let me explain why I love the miracle of the water being turned into wine. You see, it really was an unnecessary miracle. When Jesus healed the sick, rose people from the dead, that, you can say, is a life changing event. But supplying wine for a wedding when the only negative affect of not doing it would be embarrassment for the wedding party, well, why is that miracle so special? Because, Jesus, who didn't even want to do it, was just listening to his Mother. To me, this proves Jesus' humanity. What son doesn't want to please his own mom? Jesus did! And this very human Jesus is also God!

Praise the Lord for the Incarnation!

Last Saturday (July 30th) my family went to a friend's house for dinner (a very good time) and this Saturday (August 6th) my wife and I are picking up my youngest son from camp and then taking him to see "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" but I hope to make it to Vespers this Friday for blessing of the fruit and for the Transfiguration.

Can someone tell me what is the significance of the blessing of the fruit? Should I bring my own apples?

Strange Dream...!

2011-07-29T02:45:00.005-04:00

I didn't quite dream about unicorns but it was strange enough....

First of all, I went to Vespers last Saturday night and I will blog about it tomorrow but I have had a tough week at work so I have been very tired....

My wife has been wanting to learn a new language for a while now. We even started learning German with the Roseta Stone program but that sort of petered out.... (It was hard with my work schedule to take time to "study.")

So last night I dreamed that my wife asked me to learn a language with her again.

I said, "Sure, honey, how about Church Slavonic?"

I woke up before I could hear my wife's reaction. I guess by waking up I prevented my strange dream into turning into a nightmare . :)

Dreaming about Church Slavonic? I guess it's time to convert.

(Photo by Valentina Kendel, used under the creative commons license.

check out this photographer's work at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/valentinakendal/

New book worth reading!

2011-07-21T03:32:00.002-04:00

Hello, loyal readers! Fr Andrew Stephen Damick has written a book called Orthodoxy and Heterodoxy and I highly recommend it! But, wait, you haven't read it yet! How can you recommend it? Well, Fr Andrew did a series on Ancient Faith Radio with the same title and I thoroughly enjoyed it. In it, he explained different groups and sects and explains what they believe and how it relates to Orthodox teaching. An excellent and fascinating handling of the subject. So this book is well worth reading. Not only will it strengthen your faith but it will make you knowledgeable of other belief systems allowing you to always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; as St. Peter advises in his First epistle.

So go here and get it! http://wp.me/prN4b-iY

(Disclosure: Yes I posted this so I could be in the running for a free autographed copy of the book but everything I said is true...BUY THE BOOK. I am, unless, of course, if I win it)

Sitting in the wrong place in Visit #32?

2011-07-10T05:27:00.015-04:00

checking in again (mp3)Listen to the audioboo first, before you read, if you like...! or click on link if the player doesn't work..

.http://audioboo.fm/boos/408871-checking-in-again

So I go to Vespers after a long absence and I arrive a few minutes early. I venerate the Icons and, when done, I decide to sit close to the front. There is a few minutes before we start and others are making their "rounds" with icons, including Presbytera Mary- that's Father Gary's wife - and after she finishes venerating the final Icon, she sits down next to me as if to talk - which she does.

"You know," she says, "This row is reserved for Priests, Priest's wives or deacons."

"Really," I say embarrassed, "I guess I better move then" Great! Orthodoxy has 2000 years of traditions - I am NEVER going to learn them all!

As I grab my hat and am about to leave, she touches my arm and say, "I'm just kidding."

Presbytera Mary leaves to join the choir and my ears redden in embarrassment. I am not embarrassed because I am sitting in the wrong place; I am embarrassed because I am so gullible! I couldn't help but chuckle to myself as doors opened and Father Gary began Vespers. Ah, such a jokester, she is! Orthodox might take worship very seriously, but they certainly are not stoic.

Sitting in the front before Vespers started, I got a chance to observe people as they made their venerations. (Maybe I am not supposed to do that but I guess it's the blogger in me that likes to make observations). One lady was very nicely dressed. It was a very stylish dress which was still modest. That made me think about how people dress for Vespers. I guess I can talk about that best by comparing to some things that are the worst.

I have been to "informal" worship services where not only did people look like they just came from a day at the park, they brought their coffee with them into what the protestant's would call the "sanctuary" (I am not sure what Orthodox call the place where the people sit.) Yes, very informal! Now, I know that God looks at the heart but some protestants have forgotten they are seeking an audience with a King. We would want to dress up to visit the President, why not look your best to visit with the Ruler of the Universe?

What I like about what I have seen so far in Orthodoxy is how people dress up is not cult like in conformity. I visited a friend's church (He's from work) and he is a preacher in that denomination. Very formal. Everyone was dressed in suits and the ladies had long dresses. But it seemed to me that everyone looked the same. The suits were all black and the shirts were all white. It was almost like being a Mormon Convention. Now I am not saying that my friend is involved in a cult (although in the Orthodox sense, isn't anything outside Orthodoxy some variation of a cult? I don't know. Dear reader, set me straight on this one) but it seems that there was no room for individual expression. In Orthodoxy, I saw people dressing up in styles that reflected their personality. God has made us all different so why not express ourselves differently!. Ah, the diversity in the unity of the Body of Christ! How, Glorious!

(I won't mention my friend's church's name but if you want to know, email me and I'll tell you more).

I still have to contact Fr Gary to make an appointment. I had to rush out right after Vespers because I promised my son we would watch the Original BATMAN movie with Michael Keaton and Jack Nickolsen. And I get sleepy late at night so I rushed home.

Also, I had to get up early to plan Sunday's "Jr NYI All Glorious Water Balloon and Wetness Extravaganza" JR NYI is the youth group I run. Does that name sound Orthodox inspiried? I got tired of saying "water balloon fight"...:)

Visit number 31 - Pentacost

2011-06-15T02:49:00.004-04:00

Last Saturday, I was feeling a little melancholy on my 31st visit to the Orthodox Church. You see, Father Gary sent out an email the day before stating that Deacon Ken, who has been a sort of mentor for me in Orthodoxy, will be assigned to a different Parish. So seeing him leading in the prayers, for what I assumed be the last time, put me in a bit of a funk. It was a little over a year ago that I started attending this parish and from the very beginning, Deacon Ken has been very welcoming and encouraging. So you can see why I would feel a bit down.

It was hard to concentrate as Deacon Ken was leading the prayers because I knew I would miss him. He has been very helpful as I struggle towards Orthodoxy. I suppose it is only natural that I should feel that way. After all, we are all a part of the body of Christ and are in connection with each other. To be upset that he will be in another parish is understandable. It would be the same as when families whom I know very well in my protestant church and who were a big part of my life, suddenly have to move.

It turns out, though, that my melancholy was not totally justified. In conversation with Ken afterwards, he says he still plans on being at Vespers on Saturday nights because most Carpatho-Russian parishes do not have Vespers on Saturday nights because most of the parishioners commute so he plans on still attending this parish. "I am not going anywhere," he says. Plus, his children want to stay att this present parish and will still attend here since they drive.

After talking with Ken, Fr Gary walked by and I quickly told him I would like to visit with him (at IHOP, maybe). He said, sure! He is going on vacation so I will talk to him when he gets back.

Tammy realized that it has been a year since I have been attending. "Didn't I feed you the Litya last year at Pentacost," she asked. I said, Yes. "And now you are going up yourself to receive it. That's a blessing."

Today is Saturday and this post has been about last Saturday's visit. God willing, I will attend tonight as well.

Until then, God's blessings on you!

my daughter's new website!

2011-06-10T03:29:00.003-04:00

Hey, all; I know I usually just blog about Orthodoxy but I thought I would share a link to my daughter's blog. Sara is in her third year at the Savannah School of Art and Design.

As you can see, she is really good at what she does! She has been doodling since she was young so she decided to turn her talent into a career.

When I had the podcast called Monkey in the Middle, Sara designed the Art work.

(My podcast was about Children's Ministries from an Evangelical point of view- It might still be up in Itunes, if you are interested).

If you would like to have Sara do some work for you, contact her at her blog.

http://halfeatencandybars.blogspot.com/

Thanks for taking the time to look. As you can imagine, I am a proud parent!

the 30th visit - Great worship and Good conversations!

2011-05-30T05:59:00.006-04:00

It is always good to step into Church, smell the incense, see the Icons and know that for the next hour I shall be focused on, as much as possible in my limited attention span, the Risen Christ and the worship due Him. I felt that way as I arrived early (for a change) for Vespers. I greeted Tammy and grabbed a service book before I entered inside. It was only after I sat down I realized that the book, although the same color as the regular Vespers service, was actually for Burials. I thought, that is an odd theme for the season of Pascha. When I returned to the nave where Tammy was still straightening things out and asked her about it, she said that there had been a funeral here earlier and these were left out by mistake. So I grabbed the correct service book and returned to my seat as I awaited Father Gary to open the doors. Tammy, in the mean time, scurried to a side door in the front, with a bunch of the burial books, apparently putting them in it's proper place.

The choir was uplifting, the prayers, although very familiar by now, were uplifting and the Vespers service progressed as usual. Hymns were sung about the healing of the blind man, entreating God to heal us of our spiritual blindness. During the homily at the end, Father Gary read a "sneak peak" from Sunday's reading from the book of Acts where a demon possessed girl followed the Apostle Paul around shouting positive things about Paul - "They are preaching the Good News," or something like that - Father Gary said about the demon possessed girl - right message, wrong source! Father Gary applied that to Harold Camping, who predicted the end of the world on May 21st (and was wrong, of course). It is true that Christ is returning but when you are outside the church, there is no telling what nonsense will come out of a person's mouth. (That's my paraphrase of a more sophisticated, nuanced homily).

Deacon Ken was anxious to speak to me about my last blog post. He had read about breakfast with Pastor Del and wanted more details. It was good to be in conversation with Ken. I especially liked when the conversation took little turns into his work as a funeral director or the very good movie by Robert Duval called The Apostle. Then the conversation would come back to my present status as a seeker. I asked his advice about "what I should do" and he encouraged me to continue as I am. I am going slowly, not wanting to "rock the boat" too much at home since my family is less than thrilled with me embracing Orthodoxy. (As a quick aside, I wonder how they are going to like it, when I set up an Icon corner on the East wall of the dinning room?)

I have been on this journey now for about three years. It started solely as an internet preoccupation and then my study of Orthodoxy turned from academic to practical when I finally got the nerve to walk into an Orthodox Church a year ago. I am at the point where I am feeling less and less comfortable at my protestant church, knowing it doesn't have the fullness of Orthodoxy, even though they are godly, holy people, and I long for more of the Church, knowing, if I may put it crudely as I did in my conversation with Deacon Ken, that the Orthodox Church has better tools for my spiritual growth then what I am experiencing at my Nazarene church. It is good to know that my protestant pastor has encouraged me to go where the Lord is leading me and it is also good to know that Father Gary is there to help me on that journey. After Vespers I went home to my computer to find that Father Gary sent me this short email, after reading my last blog post:

Dear Jim,

Christ is Risen!

I will be happy to meet with you anytime, anywhere (IHOP inclusive). Good to see you tonight.

In Christ,

Father Gary

So I guess the answer to the question I asked in my last blog post, I wonder if Father Gary likes IHOP, is yes.

This Thursday is Ascension Thursday. That is my liturgical anniversary because it was the first Orthodox service I attended a year ago. I will not be able to go to Vespers this Wednesday night because my wife and I are driving south to pick up my daughter from college. Now that will be a good thing and I am looking forward to spending time with my wife but, sadly, I will miss Vespers Wednesday. Sometime when I get back I will give Father Gary a call and set up a breakfast or something with him.

I think we have a lot to talk about.

Meeting with Pastor at IHOP, eggs and Orthodoxy!

2011-05-28T04:22:00.011-04:00

pastor Del

I was on vacation this week so I decided I would spend the morning with my Pastor. We met at the International House of Pancakes - a fitting place to discuss Orthodoxy since it is world wide :) - and we had eggs and chatted.

First, we talked about how my life was going, generally, especially how my son Justin's move back into the house is affecting the family. And we talked about all my kids. (although they are "kids" no more - the youngest graduates High School in a couple of weeks).

Then we switched the conversation towards Orthodoxy. Back in February I met with my Pastor to talk about my Eastern Orthodox leanings and in March I blogged about that conversation (which you can read about here: Orthodoxy or Bust!: Visit number 21...coming of Age!) In February, Pastor Del gave me a phone number to a Religion professor at our Denominational College. She is an expert in church history (especially the early church) and a good friend of my Pastor.

I told Pastor Del about that conversation, on how everything she said only confirmed my belief that Orthodoxy is the original church and, consequently, that is where I should be. The professor, when asked by me, conceded that all the doctrines of the church, and by church , I mean Protestantism and Catholicism, were clearly defined by the Orthodox Church. I pressed the professor more (this I did respectfully and didn't get a chance to tell this part of the conversation to my Pastor), asking her, if she conceded that there was only one Church in the beginning and that the Orthodox church seems to be that One church, why she was a Nazarene? She told me that she thought God wanted a place for everyone and that Orthodoxy didn't "fit" everyone so God had different denominations so that everyone had a home.

While I can appreciate God's patience and humility, in allowing for that, I think it's probably better to go along with His original plan.

We spent a great deal of time talking about how Orthodoxy is all about Worshiping God and he appreciated that. One thing that Pastor Del has always strived to do is cultivate a respectful atmosphere on Sunday mornings. He is totally repulsed by much of what he sees going on in Evangelical Christianity in regards to what is called "worship. Our conversation continued, and Pastor Del, who is a great shepherd and takes his job and calling seriously, listened attentively to me, on how I thought I should "join the Orthodox Church." He said, I should pray about it more and if that is how God is leading me than go with his blessing. He said, once I became a member, I would no longer be a member of the Nazarene church, I could no longer hold office or vote in business meetings. I said, as soon as I made a commitment to become a catechumen, I would send a letter to the board, asking to be released from membership.

Pastor Del encouraged me by saying no matter where I went, he would consider himself as my pastor. That is just like him. He is a person who cares about those whom God places in his life. I am greatly blessed to have Pastor Del as a friend and a Pastor. He has helped me greatly in the past in some, er, struggles I was having...but I am writing NOT about that here!.... Pastor/parishioner privilege :)

And the truth is, if I take the plunge and become a catechumen, I cannot sever all association with my protestant parish. My wife is a member there and I would attend when I could.

I invited Pastor Del to come with me to Vespers some Saturday. He said that would be a great idea and hopes to do so later in the summer.

Now, I guess I have to talk to Father Gary...I wonder if he likes IHOP?

Visit number 29 - Vespers after Pascha NOT a let down!

2011-05-09T03:14:00.006-04:00

Listen to this before you read, if you like :)

Listen!

or click below if the above player doesn't work for you:

http://audioboo.fm/boos/352850-another-update

Sometimes after a BIG EVENT, when there are a lot of good memories to be had and plenty of reason to discuss that which just happened, the time following is something of a let down. Maybe you have a big party with all your friends and family around and you are happy for a few days BUT then, the daily routine of work and the mundane practices of daily chores steal away your joy.

Well, that has not happened by me attending a Vespers service after the Great and Holy Pascha Vigil!

One reason is we are still in the Pascha season (and will be there until Ascension Thursday) so the Joy of the Resurrection is still celebrated. In fact, I had forgotten that the tri-fold "Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal One" is replaced with "Christ is Risen from the dead, trampling down death by death, and upon those in the tombs bestowing life."...and it took me by pleasant surprise. Hearing those words again brought me back to the joyful Pascha Vigil and reminded me of the centrality of the Resurrection in the Gospel Message- and, thus, should be central in my life.

I did notice when I arrived to the church that the attendance was a bit sparser than usual. I know this because, I usually arrive just at 7pm ( or just slightly after) and I have to park in the back of the church. Well, I got a parking spot right up front! The lighter attendance did not take away from the joy of the celebration.

I got a bit reflective, as I sometimes do when I am at Vespers and I thought about how the low attendance would have meant the death of the service in my protestant church. I did a count and, not counting the clergy, the altar servers, John the Reader and the Choir, those in the "audience" numbered seven. That's low enough to call for drastic action in my protestant church. In fact, we abandoned Sunday Evening Worship altogether because of the attendance dwindled down to like what I saw at Vespers. And, Wednesday evening worship was altogether revamped to make it more of an event for kids. (They have a Christian scouting program called "Caravan.")

But seeing the faithful gathered at Vespers, even though small in number, made me realize what we were doing. We weren't gathering (strictly) for our own edification nor were we assembled so "we could get something out of it" - and thus justify getting rid of it if our needs weren't being met- No! We were gathered to worship the risen Christ and no matter what the number in the congregation, that was going to happen!

Now I am not saying that about my church to sit in judgement on them. In fact, given the fact that they do not have the variety of services that there are in Orthodoxy, it might make sense for them to "change things" to make it more seeker friendly. In fact, it is a good thing that the kids have a Christian scouting program to attend and it is beneficial. But I like that the Orthodox are so focused on Worship. It's not to generate numbers, it's not to ensure high attendance but rather it is simply to worship the risen Christ!

To me, that is wonderful!

Christ is Risen!

...Now, about that Sunrise Service...:)

2011-04-28T03:27:00.002-04:00

I said I would tell you a funny story about the Sunrise Service....

As I said in my last post, my son, who just turned 18 a couple of weeks ago, said he wanted to go to the sunrise service. So, I came straight home after the Pascha Vigil and arrived home at 3:30am and set the clock for 5:10 Am....If my son wanted to go to the Sunrise Service, I wasn't going to be the reason why he couldn't (He doesn't drive yet so I would be his ride).

I woke up at 5:10 AM and shook my soon awake and then went to make my coffee. He comes out and says, "Oh, I am so tired; I don't think I'm going." He went to the bathroom and I continued making my coffee. I figured he would be alright as soon as he splashed some water on his face.

He came out and asked, "Is there going to be food there?"

"No," I said, "There never is. We have it at a park and we stand around for an hour as we sing songs and listen to a sermon. No food."

"Oh...," he said quietly., "Are you sure there is no food there?"

"Yes, it's a sunrise service, not a sunrise breakfast."

Then, abruptly, he said, "I am going back to bed."

He left me there, with coffee brewing which I now could not drink because I was going back to bed to and I thought, "I wish you would have told me you weren't going before I woke up with only an hour and a half of sleep."

But, I smiled; It was just like my son to be ruled by his stomach.

Christ is Risen!

Great and Holy Pascha ~ My First Divine Liturgy on my 28th Visit!

2011-04-25T04:50:00.012-04:00

I was in this crowd!

First of all, Wow! Wow, is the only word I can think of to describe the three plus hours I spent at Church Saturday night into Sunday morning.

It was up in the air as to whether I would be going at all, at first. Not that I was really opposed to three hours of church for such a special occasion but, due to my usual sleeping patterns and my work schedule, the night would be ending by the time I usually am just waking up for work. (Yes, I am in bed by 9pm and up by 3am!) so I was afraid I would be wiped out and, um, grumpy. But I have been receiving encouraging words all week long from you kind people who read my blog, entreating me to make the effort and what finally cemented it in my mind (and will) was a message from Deacon Ken's son, Bill who, besides being my Facebook friend, is also an altar server. He said:

You really should go tonight since it is the entire reason every Christian church celebrates. If you come tonight i can asure you that you will be in pure amazement at the beauty and love in the service. Even growing up in the church it still fills my heart with joy to see people so devout and caring gathering to celebrate the Ressurection of our savior.

It made perfect sense that I should not miss the "Feast of Feasts." Pascha was the zenith of Christian Worship and, unlike some Christians who say every Sunday is special (thus making no Sunday Special), it really is true that Pascha is a special day, Bill promised I would be amazed and he was right.

I arrived there just before 11:30pm and grabbed a candle on the table in the Narthex. As I sat down, I noticed at man off to the side in the front, just reading out loud but not really in a "proclaiming voice", as if it were meant for God to hear and not us. He was reading the Passion story from the Gospels, I think. I wonder how long that had been going on. Tammy noticed I had made it and came over to greet me warmly. Reader John walked over to the man and motioned for him to stop because it was time to start.

The Church was almost pitch black, except for the light coming from the Narthex and choir loft at first but as the service progressed, the light grew as each of our candles were ignited by ushers. Then, when all the candles were lit, Fr Gary started a line, followed by those bearing icons and we parishioners processed out of the building, with loud bells ringing. As I stepped out I thought, "Man, the neighbors must love this!" (I really should keep my sarcastic thoughts down to a low roar when I am in church). And we circled the Church. As we made our third trip around, i was wondering how many times we would do this. But three is a favorite number for the Orthodox so the third time we stopped in front of the closed church doors and the bells stopped. Fr Gary said some prayers. In fact here is a picture below from my phone.

After the prayers, the doors were opened and the church was full of light! And the bells started ringing, faster and faster, to accent the urgency of the news that Christ is Risen! I was so overwhelmed, I almost started to cry. We walked in and stood in the church as Fr Gary incensed the icons in the front, incensed the people and proclaimed loudly, "Christ is Risen!" We replied, "Indeed, He is Risen!" All the time the choir was singing a triumphant Hymn of Resurrection.

I've said before that Orthodox take worship very seriously and don't smile much in Worship but this is the one time I saw Father Gary crack a smile. You see, "Christ is Risen" is proclaimed by him many times and, to show the universality of the Message, he proclaims it in different languages. At one point, he stumbled, clearly not sure if he was remembering the correct pronunciation for whatever language he was attempting. He smiled and he muddled through. Instead of us all yelling the response in that language, one lone voices from the congregation belted it at the top of his lungs in that particular language!

The whole church was jubilant. The choir continued to sing. I saw Reader John joyfully hugging his fellow parishioners. I saw parents bringing children up to light candles. And all the time the choir is singing, the incense is rising and Father Gary is proclaiming. It could have went on for hours more and that would have been fine with me.

Fr Gary read a letter from Bishop Michael who sent us Pascha greetings but one of my favorite readings of the evening was the reading of St. John Chrysostom's Easter Vigil Sermon. He exhorts all to come to the feast. Drawing imagery from Jesus'' parable about the workers in the vineyard, he says it doesn't matter if you began working at the first hour, or the third, or the sixth, or the ninth or even as late at the eleventh hour -

And those who arrived only at the eleventh hour,

let them not be afraid by reason of their delay.

For the Lord is gracious and receives the last even as the first.

The Lord gives rest to those who come at the eleventh hour,

even as to those who toiled from the beginning.

That man who came at the eleventh hour, that is me! I am 50 years old and only now am really drawn towards Orthodoxy, towards the Church founded by Christ Himself. Yet, I am not to dispair. Christ recieves me... Forgive me for drawing upon my Evangelical roots but, "Praise God!" :)

The Service continued and I saw the reverence in which the Faithful received the Body and Blood of Christ. I, of course, did not receive but at least two people handed me some bread of fellowship which the faithful consume after they partake of the Eucharist. Some day, God willing, I too will receive.

All in all, the service was just as Bill promised; it was awesome and really beyond description. I am so glad I did not miss it.

After the Vigil, there was an Agape feast next door but I knew if I sat and rested, eating and talking, I would get very sleepy. Plus, I promised my son I would take him to the Sunrise service our church was participating in. And I really needed some sleep.

It's kind of a funny story about the sunrise story but I will share that another time. I can see I have gone on a long time...but, oh, what a night it was.

Christ is Risen! Indeed, He is Risen!

3pm Vespers of Holy Friday makes it Visit #27

2011-04-23T06:19:00.008-04:00

Listen!
Listen to this before you read below...If the above player doesn't work for you try this link....

http://audioboo.fm/boos/338732-on-the-way-to-holy-friday-vespers

Here is the Icon that greeted me as I walked in to the Church

I have to tell you, as a Christian, I have never been in love with the Psalms. I liked all the Narrative portions of Scripture - stories of adventures of King David or exploits of the Apostles in Acts - but, the Psalms never really resonated with me. As I studied Orthodoxy, I learned that the Psalms play a big part in Worship and that scared me a bit. After all, who wants to be bored in Worship? Well, I have slowly been being cured of this defect and last night I absolutely loved the Psalms. We started off with Psalm 104 and all the prayers that followed were either outright quotations of the Psalms or allusions s to it. The culmination for me was Psalm 22, "My God, My God, look upon me. Why has Thou forsaken me?". I love how before each Scripture reading The Prokeimenon is chanted which is simply a portion of a Psalm. It really softens the heart to be attentive to the Word of God.

The church was beautifully adorned with flowers and a large Cross in the center with Jesus affixed to it. During the readings I was surprised when, during the portion of the Gospel where Jesus is taken down from the Cross, the altar server walked over to the Cross in the center of the Church and removed Jesus. I thought, "Wow, that makes it real for me!"

Another very moving part of the Service is when Fr Gary processed with Gospel Book under the Shroud. They walked over to the table in the center of the church where the now body-less Cross stood and they placed the Shroud on the Altar.

Orthodox take Worship very seriously. At the end of the Vespers service, beginning with Fr Gary and Fr Sergius , all made three prostrations before the shroud, and kissed the Gospel book and the shroud. I had wanted to do that also but, I confess, I felt awkward doing that as everyone watched. You see, only two or three people at a time could venerate and it seemed as if everyone was watching. I know my attitude should have been, so what? But, I am still a bit self-conscience. I'm still afraid I will do it wrong. (You have no idea how uncoordinated I am!)

Also, I needed to leave because I was the Pizza getter of the family and they were all waiting for me to return with dinner. So I slipped out. Before I left, Tammy (by the way, every Parish should have a Tammy, someone who is friendly, welcoming and helpful) gave me a "Vespers of Holy Friday" to take home, provided I returned it soon. (Come to think of it, Tammy gave me her book as I entered about 30 seconds late and she went and got another one for herself - she is a perfect hostess) . So today, I plan on reading all of it, God willing.

Now, the big question, will I be awake enough to attend church tonight? Keep in mind, it ends at 2:30am, followed by a feast and I have a sunrise service to go to with my son....Many prayers, Please!

Oh, by the way, after pizza our family went to our protestant church (church of the Nazarene) and the service was good. I am in charge of changing the church sign messages and I did that after the service. Before it simply announced the time of the Good Friday Worship. Now it says something I borrowed from the Latin Rite. I cleared it with both Pastors and they liked it. Here it is below.

Good Pascha everyone!

Visit #26 - Holy Wednesday

2011-04-22T08:51:00.005-04:00

photo by Paul Golm, used under the creative commons license.

check out his work at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/paulcalypse/

If anyone claims that the Orthodox Church does not place much importance on the Bible, Wednesday's Service will prove them wrong. On Holy Wednesday there was a blessing of the oils, something that is new to me. There was a small container of Oil, surrounded by seven candles, each candle was lit after two sets of Scriptures and a Gospel reading were chanted...doing the math, that would make 7 Gospel readings and 14 Scripture readings! That's more Scripture than I usually get at my protestant Church. I Confess my feet began to hurt and by the sixth candle, I sat for a bit while the Scripture was read but I, of course, stood back up for the Gospel. It wasn't till I got home and looked up on Google that what I had participated in was called "Service of Holy Unction."

One thing I have been noticing regarding those who lead in Worship - whether the choir or the reader or the Deacon or the Priest- is when they are doing their part, they are not performing but rather worshiping. I am not saying that protestants don't worship but there seems to be more showmanship in protestantism in general. My church uses a video screen to display the lyrics to the hymns and choruses, my own pastor, who is a godly man, tends, in his preaching, towards the dramatic. But at Vespers, I see John the reader, leading us in Psalm 51 and doing metanies, and crossing himself along the way. I see choir members Crossing themselves at appropriate times when they could, by rights, just read the music. Father Gary, in his homilies, exhorts us in an undramatic way, to follow Christ. Again, I am not doubting the sincerity or piety of my protestant church, who, by what I can see, are closer to Christ than I, but I think in Orthodoxy it is easier to Worship because Tradition has shown us the best way to do so.

photo by Fred Dawson, used under the creative commons license.

check out his work at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/fwp-dawson/

During the Service, there were prayers to James, First Bishop of Jerusalem, and I was reminded of something I read an Orthodox Forum regarding picking baptismal/christmation names- the forum writer recommended that converts stick to their given Christian name when choosing a patron because, he contended that the Patron had been praying for us since we received our name and could feel insulted if we look for a "fancier" name. If that is true than the Apostle James has been praying for me for nearly 50 years. I confess that I have always been on the look out for a saint to call a patron, trying to find a "hero" who I can claim but I am thinking that James will do fine. After all, being baptized in the Roman Church, I was given this name and being named after the first Bishop of Jerusalem isn't too shabby.

Fr. Gary reminded everyone that the oils were a sacrament of the church and only those who were in communion with the Church should participate. Those who were not in communion could venerate the cross, kiss the Gospel and, instead of being anointed with oil, could receive a blessing. Well, after I did that, I approached Fr Gary and he was about to apply the oil when I reminded him, "Father, a blessing." which he gave. Perhaps since he has been seeing me hang out for almost a year now, he forgot that I am not a member?

In the past being excluded like that would have really bothered me but, in truth, it made me realize that I have something to look forward to. It seems right that sacraments (or mysteries) should only be given to those in full communion and, God willing, that will be me some day.

After I received my blessing and I continued towards the icons to venerate, it made the veneration more special and more sincere.

I was one of the first in line so I exited right away and, on the way out, an older lady commented, "The knees, Father, the kness! I am glad Fr Gary anointed my hands but I could really use anointing on my knees," she joked. I then told her of my own arthritis in my knees which makes standing a challenge sometimes. She then said, "I have seen you at Vespers for a while, my name is Betty and this is my husband Dave." I then told her my story of coming to church after being inspired by Ancient Faith Radio and that I hoped to be Christmated soon. She said, "Well, we have been praying for Catechuemens."

Hopefully, dear reader, you can join them in prayers for me, as I do for you!

Today is Holy Friday and I intended to go the 3pm service...I will let you know how that goes!

Visit #25 - Palm Sunday - Protestant vs. Orthodox views

2011-04-18T05:11:00.014-04:00

photo by Dave Gilbert used under the creative commons license,

check out his work at: http://www.flickr.com/people/eye2eye/

I was glad to think that when I went to Vespers on the eve of Palm Sunday, I would be receiving a Palm. One thing about the Orthodox is they, like the Jews, begin their day the evening before so, in Orthodox thinking, Saturday night was Palm Sunday. That meant I would get a blessed Palm.

Now, how is a blessed palm any different from a protestant, non-blessed palm? If you would have asked me that years ago, I would have said no difference at all but, as I progress in Orthodoxy, I see that my thinking is changing. On Sunday, I went to my protestant church, where, at the end of the service, the kids handed out palms to all the exiting parishioners. The Palms were not used in the service at all as a means of worship; rather, handed out at the end as a sort of reminder or the day. This is in direct contrast to Vespers where, as part of the Worship service, Father Gary sprinkled holy water on all the palms, making them, I suppose, a vehicle of Grace. (If I got the theology wrong here, someone please correct me).

In my protestant church, after the kids handed out the palms, they had a lot of left overs so, kids being kids, started fashioning them into headbands, belts and whips, running around playing ninja and, to be honest, looking cute. The lady usher thought they looked cute as well and, smiling, she commented to me, "If this were a Catholic Church, they'd be having a heart attack."

I think sheis right and I believe they wouldn't look too kindly at it either at an Orthodox Church. The usher made her comment with the attitude that the Catholic Church would have been wrong (and dare I say, too stuffy) to prohibit such play. In one sense, she is right. Since the Protestant world view doesn't really allow for any matter being used as a means of Grace (Communion and Baptism are, to them, merely symbolic), it can be said that the kids running around playing with palms were... just playing with palms -They were not playing with anything Holy. How can they be blamed with handling sacred objects as toys if the sacred objects aren't sacred?

But, at Vespers, when Fr. Gary sprinkled Holy Water on everyone's Palms, I realized that this could be something on par with an Icon- something that could point me to Heaven. At least, that is how I am treating it. Again, if my theology is wrong, please let me know. So I imagine Orthodox kids weren't encouraged to play ninja with the Palms.

This is Holy Week and I am on Vacation. I have a lot of business to take care of regarding my son going to college next year but I want to make some time to attend some of the upcoming services. So, pray for me.

Just a note, on May 12th, it will be one full year that I started attending Orthodox Church services. (I began on Vespers of Ascension Thursday). It has always been a Vespers service and I hope to visit a Divine Liturgy soon.

Have a blessed Holy Week!

24 - not Jack Bauer, but Visits!

2011-04-03T03:46:00.009-04:00

photo by Tiffany Park, used under the creative commons license. check out here work at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/tiffanyvelez/

Yes, I can claim two dozen visits to an Orthodox Church. In a sense, they still feel like visits because Saturday nights around twice a month is not enough to become part of a community. I mean, really a part! Although I have made friends there and people see me as a fixture at Vesper's, I know from experience that to become connected not just to a few friends but to a whole community requires time spent working, laughing, crying and living together. To be sure, I already have this belonging in my Nazarene Church...but I have been a part of them for more than 15 years! And I am known by them and they understand my flaws, my bizarre sense of humor and, ah, quirks.

But all things in good time....

Yesterday, Vespers was at 5pm instead of the usual 7pm because the faithful there spent the day on a retreat which, according to reports, involved three clergy performing in skits...I wonder if that will end up on YouTube? I arrived early after a very un-Lenten stop at McDonald's to enjoy a burger and WiFi.

I can't remember if it was at the beginning of the service or a part of Vespers but there was an adorned Cross in the center of the room and, before the Icon was switched to St. John Climacus (of the Ladder), Prostrations were done to the Cross. Observing this, I can't help but feel that Orthodoxy and children are a great mix! There was this one woman in line who had a 6 year old daughter. She had a candle in her hand and was doing prostrations with a big smile on her face! Afterwards she rushed (reverently) to the front to light her candle.

Kids like to be doing things. I know this because I still run a youth group at my church (ages 7-12) and they are happiest when they are up running around playing games or doing something physical; they are saddest when they are sitting around listening to an adult preach to them. Well, Orthodoxy is very physical in it's worship so prostrations, bowing, lighting candles besides being more interesting to a kid, also involves the child in worship.

Speaking of kids, there was another Mother and child standing next to me. Being young, she had to leave the service a few times which is fine because the mother did the right thing by being in the back of the church where she would be less distracting. One thing that sticks out in my mind is during the "Our Father" prayer, I could hear the little girl's voice loud and clear. It was obvious to me that the Mother had done the right thing in teaching her child early basic Christianity.

This in a sense makes me sad that I did such a poor job in conveying faith to my children. If we would have stayed Lutheran, I, hopefully would have taught them the Creed, the Lord's prayer and other foundational Christian teachings. But, during the children's growing up years, we were (and still are) Nazarenes. They don't do stuff like that! They never pray the Lord's prayer, we have recited the Apostle's creed (never the Nicene) maybe once in the last five years and they have no formal catechism classes. Such structures would have been helpful in raising my children. Evangelicals tend leave us to our own devices and, left to that, I did nothing, save take them to church a lot.

Makes me wish I had discovered Orthodoxy a lot earlier...

Just an update...

2011-03-25T13:43:00.003-04:00

Take a listen below...

Listen!

Something Missing on my 23rd Visit...

2011-03-13T17:42:00.008-04:00

I thought I'd be a few minutes late but I walked into the Church just as Fr. Gary came in through the doors. Deacon Ken was inhis usual place in the back so I stood next to him. (Interesting note, if this had been a protestant church I would have said, I sat down next to Deacon Ken - Gotta love all the standing the Orthodox do!)

The Service went on as usual and I enjoyed all the prayers, especially "The Lord is Robed in Majesty", one of my personal favorites! At one point, when Fr. Gary was walking around the Church censing the Icons, Ken leaned over to me and said, "What's missing?" I had already sensed that something was slightly different about the service which I couldn't quite put my finger on but as he asked the question, it came to me- "The censor had no bells," I whispered back to Deacon Ken. Okay, what happened? Was the regular censor in the shop and they had to make do with this hand-me-down model? I didn't think so; I figured it had something to do with Lent.

I could tell by the prayers that The Triumph of Orthodoxy was the Feast on Sunday. The choir sang all about Icons and how they revealed God. Then I looked all around the Church at the Icons. I remember how, on my first visit, they looked so foreign to me- almost scandalous to have images and make them a part of worship. But, it seems, like everything else in Orthodoxy so far, it all makes sense. I remember hearing on a podcast that Icons are deliberately made not to be an exact representation of a saint, but rather are "other worldly", something to make you think of Heaven, and not earth. This is in direct contrast to Roman Catholic Iconography. My cousin, a deeply committed Roman Catholic, shared some pictures on Facebook of a visit she made to a particular Church. The statues of Christ, Mary and all the other Saints were "life like" and, frankly, didn't raise my sights upward but the Orthodox Icons promise to deliver Heaven - and it seems they do! Every time I look at an Orthodox Icon, I feel transported- sorry to sound so flakey but it's true., ...no disrespect intended to our Roman Catholic Brothers.

After Vespers, I talked to Deacon Ken a bit more about the bells. He told me that they are omitted during a penitential period i.e., Lent but can be used on Sundays, since that is always a day of celebration! We remember that Christ is Risen, even during Lent!

"There are twelve bells on the censor, representing the disciples," said Ken, "but one of the bells doesn't ring." Ah, I thought, "The Judas Bell." It's a wonder why they didn't replace it with "a Matthias Bell" after the fashion of Acts chapter one. Oh, well, the symbolism of the unringing bell is pretty cool and you can't argue with two thousand years of tradition!

At least, I'm not going to!

Visit # 22 - The Canon of St. Andrew

2011-03-12T05:03:00.004-05:00

Listen!

Listen to the Audioboo first, then read below!!!

I walked in a couple of minutes late; I guess I shouldn’t have taken the time to record the audioboo first!

I grabbed a service book (pamphlet really, made for the occasion) and sat in the back. Of course, since I was late I had no idea where we were so Tammy, helpful as always, walked away from the choir to show me the place in the book.

Fr Gary and Fr Sergious stood in the front and took turns reading/chanting from the book. All about repentance and all cries for mercy! I especially liked how, besides asking for the prayers from the Theotokos we also asked for prayers from Zosimas and, I think, Mary of Egypt. The prayers referred to Mother Mary but, from the context of the prayers, it seems to have been about Mary of Egypt. Can someone confirm that for me? Just email me or leave a comment below.

My back had been hurting the last couple of days. (due to my weight, my arthritis and the nature of my job) so I could not stand the whole time and I was a little worried about doing prostrations. Sure, I could get down easily enough but getting up wouldn’t be so graceful. In the past, the few times prostrations were called for, I would just drop to my knees while almost everyone else placed their faces on the ground. I just went to my knees, not because of physical limitations but because, frankly, I was uncomfortable “behaving in a such a way.”…I had decided that, tonight, no matter how I felt, I would do a full prostration.

The first time it was called for, I could only manage to get to my knees. By the time I got there, everyone else had finished and was standing up again. Okay, I’ll just wait for next time around. Well, I decided to just do it. Even if everyone else was finished, I was going to do the prostration. After all, I had been learning through reading/podcasts that there is a physical side to worship, it’s not all spiritual or “in my mind.”

When I went down and did a full prostration, I have to tell you. I felt like I was really engaging in Worship. I was in the proper posture before a Holy, Almighty God. I felt connected…I felt like I was doing the right thing. And, getting up wasn’t as hard as I thought!

I have to say the Canon of St. Andrew was a beautiful experience. I can see why the Church uses it every year to start Lent off. What I really like about it is every reference to our unworthiness or sinfulness is immediately followed by a cry for Mercy and, woven in and through the words, in an expectation that our Merciful God will grant us His Mercy!

Truly, we live in hope!

Here is the Icon that was in the middle of the church for the night.

An Audio message from Jim at the beginning at Lent

2011-03-09T15:18:00.001-05:00

click here to listen to a short message from Jim:

Listen!

Visit number 21...coming of Age!

2011-03-01T04:03:00.003-05:00

If my visits were years, I could drink legally now!

Last Saturday marked my 21st Visit to an Orthodox Church!

I am at the point now where my "visits" are no longer that of an outsider but rather, not visits at all...I am just going to church. So from now on my posts will be less about observations I make in the service and more about what is going on in my life as it relates to my faith and journey towards Orthodoxy.

That being said, my 21st visit was a good one. I really enjoyed and was moved by the litanies. I like that the priest mentions a petition and the congregation responds with a "Lord have Mercy" or "Grant it, O Lord." Nothing, in terms of petitions, is left out. We pray for our families, country, President, armed service...basically everything that touches us, we offer back to God, asking Him for His blessings.

Let me switch gears a bit and talk about my visit with my Pastor some weeks ago. (Like I promised I would) First of all, I had meant to blog earlier about this but I have been working a lot of overtime on the weekends and I hadn't been in a writing mood -Note to Michael, that includes answering emails :) - but I am rested enough and shall proceed.

I met with my Pastor who is a caring shepherd and told him about my being drawn towards Orthodoxy. He said his first reaction is that I shouldn't leave because God, in his view, has called me to the congregation I am at now. That is where I am apart of. That is where my immediate family is. This is where I have a ministry. I acknowledged to him all of this. God is always in the business of drawing us closer to Him and He knew that at the congregation I am at now is where I could grow. So I am grateful for all my years in the Church of the Nazarene....but it isn't enough.

Pastor acknowledged that he very possibly was reacting the way he was because he was feeling protective of one "of his sheep." He does understand that God can and does lead people to different churches but he is concerned that my wife and kids do not feel the same. That to him is a red flag. (That to me, is a concern as well but maybe for different reasons),

Pastor went on to say that the Orthodox church had nothing that the Nazarene church didn't. (I had to repress a smile; I didn't want to be disrespectful). He misunderstood my search for the ancient church as a search for the perfect church. I understand the difference and know when, by God's Grace, I become a catechumen, I shall be with imperfect people. What I did not explain was that the Orthodox Church had "better tools" to work on our imperfections. I tried to relate some of that but did a poor job. I spoke of the Incarnation making physical matter "sanctified" and related that to Icons and how this is a means to Salvation and he, of course, called it idolatry.

I must say I left the interview knowing he cared about me and my journey. He truly is a descent man and caring shepherd. He gave me the phone number to a religion professor at our denominational college and asked that I speak with her. She would give objective information regarding all my ponderings. That, dear reader, I will tell you about next blog post!

I promise :)

More comedy jokes and solemn Worship on the 20th visit.

2011-02-13T03:37:00.006-05:00

If I ever had the idea that Orthodox Christians were always serious because they were always worshiping the Triune God, then I was wrong. Yes, Orthodox are very serious about worship and why not? The Lord is righteous, perfect and transcendent and worthy of all worship! But even Orthodox Christians like to crack jokes every now and then....but more on that later.

As to worship, I was impressed last night on the use of the Psalms. I have known for a long time that Psalms were an important part of ancient Worship. The early Christians, since they were jews, did what they knew to do and that was use the Psalter -and with 150 Psalms, there's a lot to choose from - and that practice is continued extensively in the Orthodox Church. My own Protestant Parish uses old Hymns (although going back to the 1800's is hardly old when you consider the Hymnography of the Orthodoxy Church which goes back centuries!) and they use choruses a great deal, what I have heard called "Worship ditties." While these choruses have some substance, they do not possess the richness found in the Psalms. After all, which is better, singing a song based on a Psalm or singing the Psalm itself? The Church opted for the Psalter and I understand the benefit of that more deeply now. Last night, singing Psalm 1, I was brought back to when I was a young man, in my teens, actually when I memorized the entire Psalm. True it is a half a dozen verses and not a great feat but committing that to memory helped me in a small crisis of faith I was having at the time. Singing that Psalm last night brought me great comfort and helped me to do what we all should do in Church - Worship!

Now, as to "More Comedy Jokes" - a phrase I stole from Steve Martin from a comedy album he did decades ago - Fr Gary was commemorating saints of the day and we came to Martinianos the Righteous, who, it turns out threw himself into a burning fire in order to calm his own lusts as a harlot was trying to seduce him...that would work pretty well, I think. Well, as Fr Gary mentioned his name, Deacon Ken whispered to me, "Martinianos, is he the patron saint of bars, alone with his sister Olive?" I must admit, even though I don't like martinis, I broke away from praying for a few moments in order to chuckle...:)

After Vespers, I gave Deacon Ken an Air Force Web belt and Canteen to give to his son Billy who is in the Civil Air Patrol. (He was not in Vespers that night). Also, I chatted with Tammy a bit who was happy to read about herself on last week's blog post. She had emailed me with a link to Ancient Faith Radio for a discussion with His Emminence Hillarion Alfeyev, Chairman of the Moscow Patriarchate for External Affairs, and Metropolitan of Valakalamsk about Icons. It was very good and I had responded to her email with a link to my blog.

I know, I know, I said I would write about my meeting with my Pastor...I will...just not tonight :)

Spending Friday night with an Icon...19th visit!

2011-02-07T03:46:00.019-05:00

The Kursk Root Icon of the Mother of God came to our Parish last Friday. It was quite an event.

A molieben* service was to begin at 7pm but I read on the website to show up at 6, which I did. I was actually very early but it gave me a chance to socialize a bit which I don't often do on Saturday nights because I usually rush out to get my son from work. I walked into the parish hall where Tammy and others were preparing the coffee, punch and fasting foods for the reception afterwards. She was very excited not only because of the Icon but because Bishop Michael was to be there. Indeed, a host of clergy showed.

*a molieben service is a supplication prayer service in honor of

either our Lord Jesus Christ, the Mother of God, or a particular sain t.

I met a man named George who introduced himself by saying his last name was the same as his first only he pronounced his last name in a different language. (Russian? probably...they abound around here). He was visiting from a parish up north and traveled over an hour to get here.

Deacon Ken was happy to see me. As we stood in the vestibule outside the hallway, he motioned for me to step outside. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what he wanted but then he asked "How did your meeting with your pastor go?" I had forgotten he reads my blog and I mentioned last post that I met with my protestant Pastor. I gave him a brief account of what was said (next blog post, dear reader, I promise to detail it all!) but I cut it short because we were standing in the cold and I began to shiver. He had the benefit of a robe to warm him but, alas, as a layman had no such garb. :)

In the middle of our conversation, Father Gary walked by and greeted me by name, I yelled back, "Hello, Pastor....I mean, Father." Yikes, my protestant is showing!

The Service itself was beautiful. Above you see a picture. I stood in the back and am not seen.

I was struck with how even though this was a service that honor the Theotokos (Mary, Mother of God), it really was all about Jesus. Everything flowed back to Him. Protestants often criticize Catholics and Orthodox for worshiping Mary but if they only understood that all is said and done to glorify Christ then they would see that they, too, Protestants do similar things on a smaller scale. I used to attend a mega-church in Nebraska that had a huge youth/young adult group and the Pastor's wife, Sister J, was venerated almost as much as our Theotokos. They honored Sister J for her piety, love and dedication to Christ. (and rightly so, by the way- she was an amazing example). How much more should we honor a humble women who willing became the vessel to house the incarnate God?

I was also struck with how the Orthodox really know how to do reverent worship. The beginning of the service started with the ringing of the bells, the first time I have ever heard the church bells ring. Also, through out the entire service, the Icon itself was incensed non stop by two deacons (one, our very own Deacon Ken!) I enjoyed it all very much, even though my feet started to hurt but I was not about to sit down! I am not that old, yet!

At the end of the service we all lined up to venerate the Icon. We were instructed to please keep quiet and the only sound should be that of the choir singing. Of course, people chatted anyway and it reminded me of my protestant experiences where Pastors would entreat the faithful to have respectful silence but, alas, it didn't work. I guess people are the same all over.

Father Gary is second from the right

After the service we went to the Parish hall for a slide show (called a photo montage by the priest who presented it). Deacon Ken helped me from committing Orthodox social suicide by removing my hat inside the building. It turns out that only bishops and certain clergy have the honor of wearing headgear indoors. Who knew? Ken said, "people will say, Oh, look! A catechumen!" Hey, I've been called worse. Ken sat next to me during the slide show.

It was a great evening and I am glad I came. As I was walking out the Parish Hall, Father Gary, who was in a conversation, touched my arm and said, "See you later, Jim." I said, "Good bye, Father." ... I'm glad I got that right this time!

18th Visit - Father Gary away and my views on greeting with a holy kiss

2011-02-02T03:47:00.006-05:00

not exaclty greeting one another with a holy kiss but what I am used to!

I am getting to the point now where the "newness" of the Orthodox Worship experience is not new anymore and where attending Vespers is becoming routine. Now this is good and this is bad. Good, because, it shows a sense of belonging and comfort on my part but bad in that I can, believe it or not, become complacent and fall into a rut of "just going to church." One thing I like about keeping this blog is it forces me to engage myself in the Worship and to pay attention, although I don't have a lot to say regarding my 18th visit in the way of "new observations."

Father Gary was away on vacation so retired priest Sergius was conducting the service. He has a rich deep voice which is pleasant to hear as he chants. I did notice that during a particular prayer where "Fathers and Mothers" and "Brothers and Sisters" are mentioned, Fr Sergius opted to only mention the Fathers and Brothers, omitting the Mothers and Sisters as printed in our Vespers Service book. I wonder if he was going "old school" and the mention of only the masculine? Perhaps his was the original version and the Mothers and sisters were added for "modern Americans?" I don't know.

I also noticed that as Fr Sergius handed the incense to one of the altar boys that I did not see the customary "kiss on the hand." I immediately concluded that this honor was only for an active and not retired priest....but I was wrong. Later, when I had a better view and could actually see the altar boy (before his view was blocked by the doors) I saw, the second time, that he gave Fr Sergious an "air kiss" about a foot away from his hands. Now, what is that about?

Speaking of kisses, I am having a hard time feeling comfortable with the 'triple kisses' even if they are cool triune reminders! It just isn't part of my culture and although the bible says to greet each other with a holy kiss, I wonder if I wouldn't like a holy handshake instead? But I need to get out of my comfort zone.

I did meet with my Pastor on Saturday, right after the prayer breakfast. I want to give that due attention so I will hopefully blog about it in a few days.

Thanks for all your prayers!

17th visit - Breaking the Chains that Bind?

2011-01-22T14:11:00.004-05:00

It was good to get to Vespers last Saturday night but I must admit that I was very distracted.

It is true that I have had some financial setbacks (due to Christmas overspending, no doubt) and I thought that was the reason for my distraction and while it did occupy my mind truthfully I have always known that God has helped me through tight spots before and He would do so again. This, by the way, He has done. The needed money for my short term crisis arrived, Praise God, although I do need to sit down, put a budget together and cut back on some of my unnecessary spending.

What really distracted me last Saturday is my relationship with my wife. For the longest time, I have had a hard time opening up to her; there is a fear there, something inside of me that makes it impossible for me to be vulnerable with her. This, of course, is unhealthy. This, of course, is distracting. This, of course, will not do!

And an added problem to my unopeness is that my wife has no interest in Orthodoxy, She, a happy Protestant, thinks I am nuts for pursuing this and it drives the divide bigger. It is the unspoken wedge that we both know about but what else can I do? I certainly cannot remain a Protestant.

Talking to my wife about Orthodoxy, she said “Why don’t you just convert?” The truth is I know that she does not want me to- my entire family doesn’t want me to and I kind of wanted to go with their blessing or better yet have them come along! She also said I had a duty to discuss this with my Pastor. He may not want someone who holds “such views” in positions of leadership in the church. (Currently, I run the children’s youth group). I have already talked about my Orthodox yearnings with the associate Pastor but that was some time ago so I guess it’s time to talk to the Senior Pastor. We have a meeting scheduled for this Wednesday at 4pm.

At that time I will talk about Orthodoxy and also talk about how it is hurting my relationship with my wife. I’ll let you know how that goes.

Father Gary’s homily was on the Chains of St. Peter. He made the point that normally we don’t venerate chains but these are worth venerating because of how the angel set him free from prison. From there, he asked, “What chains have you down?” He reminded his flock that God is in the business of loosening chains.

This I certainly need, Lord have mery!

2010-12-25T08:00:00.001-05:00

Merry Christmas! Here's the tree before all the excitement!

16th Visit- busy and stressed...but I made time to go!

2010-12-19T03:55:00.004-05:00

When I was a Pentecostal, there were times that I didn't "feel" like going to church but would go anyway and, afterwards, I would be grateful I did because of the emotional high I would receive. Well, even though I got no emotional high from attending Vespers (in the pentecostal sense that is) I am very glad I went. Because of the Christmas play I am directing at my Protestant Church- and because of some other reasons- I am a bit stressed around now and actually considered forgoing Vespers...but I didn't and I am glad. There is something about giving yourself over to Worship with your heart, mind and body in the setting of a Vespers service that is completely freeing. While Worship doesn't completely remove the stresses of life, it does put them in proper perspective. So my advice to any readers who are unsure if they should attend Church is, Just Do it!

Father Gary spoke about the three Holy Youths from the Book of Daniel. He did this by reading from a book from Fr Thomas Hopko, whom I know from Ancient Faith Radio. Of course, when I heard him say "the youths" I had to chase away images of "My Cousin Vinny" and Joe Pesci saying "Da Youts"...but that quickly passed and I was able to learn from the example of the three young men who would serve the true God only, even if it meant their death. Fr Hopko compared that attitude with the "Name it and Claim it" Gospel which, sadly, many prescribe to.

Tammy, who is reader John's wife, reminded me of something very important when living the Christian life: Love must be paramount! You see, as I was leaving she made sure she came up to me and asked if I would be able to make it for Christmas. When I told her I had too many Protestant things going on, she gave me a a warm hug, with the obligatory three kisses on the cheek and wished me a blessed Christmas with my family. There was such sincerity in the exchange that I could truly see that Christians are marked by the love they show for each other. All the liturgy in the world done with the best choirs is useless if Love is not in the community.

May all of God's people show love at all times!

I sat next to Deacon Ken in the back who was not in his Deacon uniform (May I call it that?) but dressed as a civilian. Whenever I sit next to him (He's always there before me), he always makes sure he gives me a playful punch in the arm as a greeting. This welcoming is as important as Tammy's hug. It all shows the love of Christ!

As I was leaving, Ken asked me if I was ready for my play and I told him yes and to please keep me in prayer about it. He said he and his wife would try to attend. I told him, "Great, you might even win a door prize!" Ken said, "Good, I could always use another door." And with that I left chuckling out of the church, to my car, off to pick up my son from work.

Who knew Deacons could be so funny?

No Vespers for me tonight

2010-12-11T16:50:00.009-05:00

No Vespers Tonight...going to my church Christmas Party with my wife...I know in advent we are supposed to fast, ect...but I'm still a Western Christian...give me time, give me time...:)

15th Visit...and counting!

2010-12-05T05:48:00.006-05:00

Apocrypha? I think not! It's the Word of God!

Yesterday marked my 15th visit to my new found parish. At first, I thought I had missed it because when I walked in everyone was hanging around in the foyer while Father Gary was conducting a service inside; I found out later someone was having a commemoration of some loved one who had died and it was running a bit late. Father had blessed some sort of barley sweet cake at the ceremony and after Vespers I ate some...pretty good stuff.

The reading last night were from the Wisdom of Solomon, a book not accepted by the Protestants. I have been reading the Wisdom of Sirach in my new Orthodox Study Bible I bought for myself in October for my birthday. I have decided to read all the "Apocrypha" books since I have never really read it before since I have been a protestant for so long. Sirach is pretty interesting. It is sort of like proverbs, only less one liners and more of a narrative. Very instructive. (As an aside, I laughed twice when I read Sirach's illustration of a eunuch and a virgin, in order to demonstrate an impossible or frustrating situation)!

When I was 16 and attending a Pentecostal church, I remember asking my friend and mentor Dave (Dave was mentioned in the June 22nd post) about the Apocrypha books and why we had a different bible from the Catholics. He said the Apocrypha books were, upon reading, clearly inferior to Scripture. I, being 16, just accepted that. Reading it now, I feel like I am reading the bible for the first time (because in essence, I am!) Dave eventually became a Roman Catholic so I think he doesn't hold the same view anymore. In the meantime, I plan on reading Tobit after I finish with Sirach.

A young lady was standing in front of me. (I later learned she was from Georgia, the country, not the American State) and when everyone sat down for the Bible readings, she remained standing. An older lady (her mom maybe?) came from the back, stood next to her and then motioned for her to sit down. (undoubtedly so she wouldn't draw attention to herself). I guess this is an example on how Orthodoxy is not monolithic. We may believe the same things, worship the same way but there are local variations. This, I celebrate!

I kinda like that the young women stood. She's probably thinking, "What's wrong with these old people? We're Orthodox, we're supposed to stand!" (Gotta love the Russians, a hardy people...oh, wait, she was from Georgia....just as hardy!)

At the end of the general confession when people approached Father Gary to kiss the Cross he is holding and then his hand (Since those hands provide the Body of Christ) I noticed that a retired priest who is attached to the parish did not kiss Father Gary's hand. I wonder what that's about? anyone know?

Please keep me in your prayers.

14 visit! Back in the swing of things!

2010-11-16T04:35:00.003-05:00

my wife Karen and I during the Veteran's Day parade in NYC two years ago.

After a three week absence, it was good to be back. I walked in, decided to grab a service book and sat in the back. I was originally opposed to using the book, afraid that I might “read ahead” instead of live in the moment of worship. (I usually do that when I go to my protestant church- during the sermon or at anytime really, I get distracted by reading) But I thought it would be a good idea to participate by singing along with the Psalms, ect. I was always impressed how some there would sing along, all from memory. Reader John comes to mind. He has memorized so much of the Vespers service that he is able to sing, do metanies, and worship with his whole being, without being distracted by a book. That, of course, comes from years of practice. If I want that, I have to start singing along , too and to do that I have to “know the lyrics.”

Father Gary gave a homily on the life of St. Philip. That particular saint I invoke every day (at least on the days I pray in the morning) because he is one of the patrons of “The fellowship of St. John the Divine” whose prayer book I use. (The other patron is St. John). I really hadn’t known much about Philip, other than what I had read in the Gospels. But Father Gary called upon Church Tradition and I learned several things about him that I had not known before. You see how much information and encouragement the Protestants miss but rejecting Tradition? St. Philip, pray for me!

At the end of the service, I grabbed Bill, the altar server, who is also in the Civil Air Patrol and gave him all of my BDU uniforms. I won’t need them anymore because, not only am I retired but that uniform is being phased out in favor of the ABU. You can see a picture above of me in a BDU uniform so you can know what they (and I) look like. I told Bill he has to take off all the name tapes, rank ect and he said, no problem. He was especially happy that he got a liner for his jacket. He must have had some cold days without it!

I rushed out of there in order to meet my wife and pick up the kids. Before I did, Deacon Ken said, “Well done good and faithful servant, in reference to my retirement. (He gave the same greeting on facebook). I do wish I didn’t have to rush out all the time. It will be hard to make friends, if I don’t spend time talking.

Going to Vespers Tonight....

2010-11-13T17:26:00.003-05:00

.....that's why I am smiling! Okay, it's not me but this is how I feel.

I plan on leaving in about a half an hour to go to Vespers. I haven't been there in three weeks and I really miss it!

Finished the book given to me by Deacon Ken!

2010-11-10T04:05:00.003-05:00

I know...I’m a slow reader. But I did get “Cloud of Witnesses” by David N. Bell finished and I thought I ‘d share a few thoughts about it.

First of all, for a book about church history and theology it is very readable and non technical for us layman and it is at times funny. (That’s always a plus for me). I like how the author handles church history honestly, not painting a perfect picture because, of course, the Church isn’t perfect. The description of Constatine comes to mind. He honestly tells of all the good he did for the church- making Christianity legal is pretty cool, don’t you think?- but he admits his flaws and his sins- And by the way, what’s with him getting baptized by an Arian Bishop, anyway?

David Bell covered the council of Nicea extensively and talked about all the early important Church Fathers and their contribution to Christian Doctrine. Again, this could have been presented in a very dry, academic way but, thankfully, was not- it was thoroughly readable and I recommend this book to anyone who wishes to get a brief overview of Church Doctrine.

One thing I know very little about is the council of Calcedon and the departure of the Coptics, Armenians and some other group I don’t now quite remember. The sad thing is from what I understand today, the Eastern Orthodox church is in discussion with these groups and both sides have concluded they believe the same thing...so why are we not in communion with each other? I know, Orthodoxy is all about being patient! I must admit that while I was reading about the disagreement, I did have trouble keeping it strait. What exactly were they fighting about? Other than 1054 AD, this was the biggest split ever. I do want to learn more about it, though.

So now I started reading “Way of the Pilgrim” which is about the Jesus prayer. This could be very helpful (and convicting!) and I am looking forward to reading it. I have been using my chotki more (gift from Deacon Ken) and it is amazing how such a tool, if I may call it that, is helpful in prayer.

With money I got from my birthday, I purchased an Orthodox Study Bible, Old and New testaments. I want all out and got the cool leather one. I am right now reading the Wisdom of Sirach. (Since I am now 50, I feel as if I have to make up for lost time so I am now reading the books I once rejected as apocryphal). I am also following the daily lectionary and using the St Philip’s Prayer Manuel and common Discipline from the Fellowhsip of St. John the Divine for my daily prayer rule.

Two weeks ago I didn’t go to Vespers because I was spending time with my wife whom I hadn’t seen due to our very busy lives and last week I didn’t go because I was working 12 hour shifts at the Air Force and was, frankly, quite exhausted. This Friday, I officially retire from the Air Force. (My last work day with them was Sunday) so I should have more time and less exhaustion to pursue other things. I know I don’t owe you, dear reader, an explanation as to my church attendance but I thought I’d give it anyway. I am serious about Orthodoxy and hope to work through all I have to in order to convert.

So, God willing, I will be in Vespers this Saturday.

13th Visit - not at all unlucky!

2010-10-24T05:34:00.006-04:00

something like this happened at Vespers tonight - read below

Great time at Vespers last night. I’ve been away for two weeks as already noted on the blog and it was great to be back.

Something great I noticed last night. Ten minutes into Vespers, a young couple walks in with a baby, I’m guessing around two years old. They, at an appropriate time, approach the icons and venerate, crossing themselves and kissing the icon. Then, the mom lifts up the baby, the little one crosses herself and mom leans her towards the Icon to kiss it. Besides rating a ten on the Adorable scale, it was also a very teachable moment. Protestants, at least in the Evangelical world, have a special room for babies; it’s called the nursery and babies and young children are separated from the worship experience so that they don’t become a bother to the adults. In Holy Orthodoxy, the family that worships together enters into Salvation together.

I guess it makes sense in an Evangelical’s mind to provide nursery care during the worship service. After all, the highlight and zenith of any Evangelical Service is the Sermon, which can go on anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour, depending on the local church. And since, the sermon requires intellect; it makes no sense to subject little ones to that. But in Orthodoxy, where God uses matter (i.e., the Eucharist, the waters of baptism, icons) to feed spiritually, all can benefit from Worship. See what the Evangelicals are missing out on? No doubt, it is great to listen to God’s Word expounded upon and the Holy Spirit can move an individual through it (for example, me) but there is so much more available than that. I guess that is why Orthodoxy is called the “Fullness of Faith.”

Later on, the mom brought the little one to light a candle.

Father Gary spoke about St. Athanasius of the 14^th century. (I think I am getting the name correct- it’s not the Athanasius of the great creed. If I am wrong, someone please correct me) Anyway, this man wanted nothing more than to be left in solitude to pursue his monastic life but God kept calling him to Pastoral work. He kept withdrawing and God kept bringing him back- Sort of a Jonah-ish reluctance, eh? In fact, towards the end of his life Christ appears to him and rebukes him for not pursuing the pastoral calling he had. Father Gary made the point we are all to follow our vocation. Good advice and May God help me be faithful.
After Vespers, as Deacon Ken recommended on my facebook page, I had Father Gary give a blessing over my car. I opened the door so he could, after some prayers, sprinkle holy water on it. A little group gathered around to pray with us which was nice. My wife had said make sure you have the priest say a prayer for the driver as well as the vehicle. Well, as Father Gary sprinkled the car, saying "This Vehicle is sanctified through the Holy Spirit." (or something like that)- some Holy Water splattered just below my eye. So I guess that counts as a blessing on the driver!
I mentioned to Deacon ken how I was enjoying the book "Cloud of Witness". Hopefully, my next post will include some of my impressions of that book.

Here's the Car that Father Gary blest! It's a sweet ride!

No Vespers tonight!

2010-10-16T15:39:00.002-04:00

We ended up visiting our son in Quincy, Mass...It is great to see him....vespers next week, God willing....my son went to this school and stayed around the area after he graduated.

12th Visit to Vespers.

2010-10-10T08:43:00.003-04:00

Last Saturday (3 October) was a great time at Vespers. I am getting to the point when I am not looking around to see how others are “doing it” but rather trying to enter in to worship as “the Spirit moves me.” – crossing myself when appropriate, raising my hands in the armon prayer position during the psalm that mentions raising your hands, bowing and kneeling as it is called for. This is very freeing for me.

A man brought a visitor to Vespers last week. He would, from time to time, whisper what was going on to explain. It wasn’t too distracting. At the end when all went around to venerate the icons, he stood in front of the Icon of the Mother of God with Jesus in her heart and explained all that meant. So we had to skip that one to venerate.

We also had a general confession service. This is my second one. The first time I remember Fr Gary launched right into it without explaining that it was happening so I was perplexed as to why we were saying the Lord’s prayer again since we had said it already. I soon caught on. This time he explained it, perhaps for the benefit of the “new person.”

Speaking of confession, participating in a general confession makes me long for the sacrament – actually all sacraments, especially the Eucharist. But I am a long way from that. What is holding me back is my family really doesn’t want me to “desert them.” In fact, my son said “I am glad you are going to Vespers Saturday nights AND with us to church on Sunday mornings.” …What’s a catechumen-wanna-be to do?

The above picture is of my protestant church van in the parking lot of the Orthodox Church. My church let me borrow the van for a few days while I figure out getting my own set of wheels, since my car was totaled. I wonder if people passing by thought there was mass conversions going on? J

couldn't go to Vespers last night because there was a concert at my church my whole family went to...next week, though.

Post about 12th visit coming soon

2010-10-03T05:57:00.001-04:00

I am blogging from my iPod touch... Soon I will write about last night's visit... Stay tuned

Eleventh visit on Saturday and Car Crash on Monday!

2010-09-30T19:10:00.003-04:00

It was dark so you can't the dent too clearly but the accident totaled the car. Anyone know where I can get a good deal on a used car?

Thank God I am okay.

I was driving very safely on my way to pick up my son from work and someone coming from the opposite direction made a left hand turn right in front of me. We crashed. Her air bag deployed; mine did not. Thankfully, I was just a bit shaken up, feeling a little sore but otherwise okay. She, however , was taken out on a stretcher. I just heard from Allstate today and they are going to total the car which means I have to go find another one now. But, all in all, I am grateful to be in one piece, even if my car isn’t. I don’t know how the other driver is doing; I hope and pray well. Even though it was clearly her fault, I hold no animosity towards her. It was, after all, an accident not “an on purpose.”

Now about Vespers last Saturday- I walked in a saw an icon of a saint in the middle of the church. He had a beard and had a book below him. I honestly had no idea who we were honoring on that day until the Hymnography started. I have to tell you I had chills go up and down my spine as the choir chanted about “The Word” becoming flesh (It is one of my favorite mysteries!) and I knew I was hearing about one of my favorite saints, John the Theologian, as I have now learned to call him. (In the west, he is simply the Apostle John). His Gospel is my favorite.

The church has started something new by making a service book for Vespers which has most of the hymns, psalms and prayers written down for people to follow along. I go back and forth as to whether I should continue to use it or not. I did last time (for the first time) but I know myself. Whenever there is something written in front of me I tend to read it or read ahead and, thus I am not paying attention to the service. Perhaps I should come early to the service, read the entire thing though to become familiar with it and then put it back in the narthex for other’s to use. I believe I will be able to pay attention more if I am not distracted by the book. After all, when Father Gary says, “Let us attend,” I take that very seriously.

I kissed an icon or at least came close. I was so moved by St John’s hymnography; I leaned down and kissed, although I think I missed! – just came an inch before the Icon but I am getting closer!

Deacon Ken wasn’t there but I hope to see him next time.

10th visit and being distracted by books.

2010-09-22T04:05:00.005-04:00

I made my tenth visit to an Orthodox Church last Saturday night. (And it was great to be back after a two week absence- Labor day weekend and some family obligations made my absence regrettably necessary). I walked in (in uniform because I came from performing my two week annual tour) right around 7pm and sat in the back left side. Of course, I venerated the Icons first but the seekers way- cross myself, quick silent prayer and a bow- no kiss.

Immediately, I began being plagued by annoying thoughts. You see, I am reading a book by Frank Viola and George Barna called “Pagan Christianity” which debunks the whole idea of the Institutional Church as being legitimate in terms of worship and practice because, not only does it depart from the New Testament model, but it actually adopted pagan ideas and rituals from the very beginning. Of course, I know all the arguments against this line of thinking and if I were in a discussion around a cup of coffee with an evangelical I would be able to soundly refute “all the charges” but while in the midst of Worship, these thoughts bombarded my mind. I am happy to say that I combated these thoughts by totally ignoring them and attending to Worship which is why we gathered in the first place.

Fr Gary gave a homily about our need to show Christ to the outside world. This we did by the special events of the last two weeks. (40^th anniversary of the parish and 9/11 commemorations). It was an Evangelical message using Orthodox terminology.

As I was leaving to pick up my son from work, Bill the altar server whom I gave the military New Testament to, talked to me right after I was mulling about in the vestibule. “I am not allowed to let you leave until my father talks to you.” You never want to go against the orders of an altar server, so I hung about a minute until Deacon Ken could come to the vestibule. As I saw him, I said, “Are you okay?” because before, as he was serving with Fr Gary, he fell after losing his balance arising from a prostration. He said something that I want to put into my book of quotes- I will have to ask him if it’s original or if he got it from someone else – “You can’t learn humility unless you are humbled.” Now that is pretty profound, only because it is so simple!

Deacon Ken immediately produced not one but four books for me to read! It was almost as if the Holy Spirit was saying to me, “I noticed you were troubled by something you were reading, try these.” I started reading one called, “Cloud of Witness” which is a short introduction to the development of Christian Doctrine. By the way, it does mentions pagan influences on the Church but when you think about it, “God is everywhere present and fills all things.” so why shouldn’t He use whatever He wants to? And thinking about it, isn’t the idea of the Logos, mentioned in the Gospel of John, a Pagan notion? Please correct me, dear blog reader, if I am wrong.

I have every intention of finishing the book “Pagan Christianity” (recommended to me by a Nazarene Pastor), even though it will probably get me mad when I get to the chapter on the Eucharist but now I have four books to edify me on my journey towards Orthodoxy. I will be making special blog entries on my thoughts as I read these books.

As I was walking to my car, rushing to pick up my son – Reader John had detained me for a bit because he was anxious to tell me about the special events of parish mentioned above- and I love him for it because he really wanted to share a part of his life with me!- Anyway, as I walked to the car, I saw this girl run past in the parking lot, she was wearing a Life Guard T shirt and, I guess, shorts and I for the life of me have no idea where she came from. She climbed into this big box truck, started it up and drove away. I wonder what that was all about?

Ninth Visit - Great experice and getting gifts!

2010-08-29T04:00:00.009-04:00

My Ninth visit to an Orthodox Church was wonderful!

Today I sat in the back on the left side of the church, instead of my usual front on right side. I did this because I did not want to get into a rut. I arrived early and noticed that Litya was on the table. In past visits, I was too afraid to go up front to receive it and, instead, Tammy would graciously bring some to me. Well, I determined I was going to participate so I went outside where I saw Deacon Ken, who was making some business calls, and I asked him about the proper protocol for receiving the oil upon the head and the bread of fellowship, ect. He explained, I listened and I returned to my seat.

Before Worship began, Ken came in and sat down, his business call done and said he noticed on my blog an entry from Maria had posted in response to my question, how could I incorporate the Liturgy into my daily life…

Maria said...
into daily life? How about the Jesus prayer? Perhaps you can ask
for a chotki/prayer rope?
August 25, 2010 1:01 AM

So Deacon Ken handed me a chotki, (pictured above) and explained how to use it. He says he himself uses it during the Divine Liturgy - listens to the sermon with his mind and prays with his spirit. He said he gives me this chotki “with my blessing”…A blessing from a Deacon from a church that spans 2000 years! Not too shabby.

When the service began, I was really able to enter in. I was less self-conscience and more concerned about worshiping the Triune God. It was this that made Worship so wonderful. Not being concerned on how I look or what others are doing can really help a person have Communion with God.

This wonderful worship experience happened despite three mistakes that transpired during the service. At one point when Fr Gary was reciting a long list of saints, (asking for their intercession) he paused, evidently losing his rhythm but he quickly recovered. At another point when the altar servers were chanting The Trisagion Prayers, they fumbled when they were not sure who was to take the next part, but again, they quickly recovered and lastly a young lady in the choir (who, by the way, has the most beautiful, sweet voice I have ever heard! and when she chants a psalm or a reading, her melodious voice really helps expound the text for me...) Well, she belted out a “Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit” but evidently it was a mistake because she stopped before the entire Trinity could be praised. She had an embarrassed smile and the choir director had a smile that says, “Oops, things like this happen.” Again, they all quickly recovered and Fr Gary continued with the prayers.

So why didn’t these mistake distract? I believe it is because I am beginning to be less of an observer and more or a worshipper. It is, in fact, endearing that people can stumble but quickly recover and continue on with worship. I have been to some services where mistakes like that would destroy the whole mood of the congregation but not so here!

A word about the choir before I end. I stand in awe that a group of only six people can produce such a quality, euphonious sound! They are wonderful.

When everyone else went up to receive the Oil from Fr Gary and the Litya from the Altar Servers, I went up, too. I was a bit nervous but as Fr Gary anointed my head with the words "Enjoy the Feast" (or something like that), I kissed his hand which is something that takes getting used to.

After the service ended, Tammy greeted me and asked how I liked the jam. I told her I couldn't open the lid. She told me to bang it with a hammer because it was sealed air tight to preserve it. so I guess I have to find my hammer....

I had to pick up my son from work so I could not stop to chat with everyone.

Now, I have to start using the chotki.

Eighth Visit - Orthodox Jam!

2010-08-22T07:28:00.002-04:00

Attendance was sparse during my eighth visit to Vespers. I think it is because we are in the middle of August and people tend to go away on vacation. (I know Deacon Ken is away via Facebook). But the spirit of the worshipers was as focused as if we were among thousands. I stood, bowed and crossed myself in front of the Icon of the Dormition of the Theotokos, which stood on the table in the front of the Sanctuary. (That table has a special Orthodox name that Ken told me but I forgot so if someone can tell me….)

There is a constant chatter in my head during worship and I would really like it to stop so I can concentrate on worshiping. I have to constantly stop myself from observing and making mental notes and try to focus on Christ. This would happen in Protestant churches, too, but at protestant churches where there is no liturgy they give you more occasion for your mind to wander. Sometimes, at a protestant church, there is almost a feel of I am in the audience and you must hold my interest by entertaining me. You get none of that at Vespers but still my mind tends to wander.

Maybe that is why Orthodox worship is so physical - so you can be so involved both body and mind that you stay more focused. I know that Reader John is very much an inspiration for me on that front. I usually sit in the same place every time I am there , John sits in front of me- Well, whenever in the liturgy is says:

Calling to remembrance our all-holy, immaculate, most blessed and glorious Lady
Theotokos and ever-virgin Mary, with all the Saints, let us commend
ourselves and each other, and all our life unto Christ our God.

As Father Gary says this (or words like this), John looks towards the Icon of the Theotokos and when Father Gary says with all the saints John scans his eyes over the whole iconostasis (the front of the church with all the Icons on it) and he seems to thank each saint individually. He does this each and every time.

So maybe the more I involve myself in worship physically, the less the chatter will annoy.
Speaking of John, his wife Tammy talked to me a bit after Vespers and sold me some Jam. (see picture above). It is a fund raiser to support a camp which she worked at. I figure you can never have too much jam so I bought two. Here is the website about the camp:

http://www.standrewscamp.com/

When Vespers was ending and everyone venerated Icons before they exited, I placed myself as last and took my time in front of each Icon, crossing myself and doing a threefold Lord have Mercy in my head. I need to learn about St. Katherine and some other saints depicted so I can have some knowledge associated with my veneration.

Now, when will I have enough nerve to kiss the Icon?

I’ll keep you posted.

Orthodoxy is spilling over into my Protestant life

2010-08-17T06:38:00.004-04:00

It was my turn to pray for the Pastor.

In our protestant church, before we begin the service the two pastors kneel at the altar and those from the congregation who would, gather around them and pray for them, asking for God’s presence and our obedience. One person is handed a microphone to lead the prayer while the others silently assent.

It was my turn to pray.

I was on the schedule so I grabbed the microphone and led in prayer. I don’t remember the particulars of the prayer - I know I did ask for His Presence and our obedience - but one thing I do remember: In referencing the Holy Spirit I said, "He is everywhere present and fills all things." It would appear that my one year of private Orthodox devotions and my seven visits to an Orthodox Church are rubbing off on me! Orthodox prayers and hymnography are filled with such great content and meaty prose that it is hard not to reference them when you are offering a "free style" prayer. Why should I not call upon such great words to help me in my prayers? They say things better than I ever could.

Now, if I continue the way I am going, the next time I pray, I might accidently call upon the Theotokos to intercede on our behalf and, at that point, I will never be asked to pray again!

Oh, well, I’ll take my chances.

Seventh Visit - Joining in!

2010-08-13T04:16:00.010-04:00

I stood before the Icon.

I did not bow. I did not kiss.
I just stood there…and crossed myself.

And that is how I began my seventh visit to an Orthodox church. In the last post, I said I was going to send an email to Deacon Ken and ask him, over a cup of coffee, to what extent I should participate in Worship, since I am not Orthodox. Well, I never got a chance to send that email because he read my post and emailed me first. It was a very encouraging email. While I felt that I had to “declare my intentions,” in order to have the right to worship, Deacon Ken said:

You don't really need to make a declaration - by your own count, you have visited six times, and each time have walked away with a positive feeling and a prayerful experience. I believe that is already declarative of your intentions to worship in the Orthodox fashion, even though you are not yet Orthodox. You are to the point that you are recognized when you are in the midst of the parishioners, and asked about when you are not there. You are already one of "us." If this is the closest you wish to come to Orthodoxy, you are welcomed with open arms. Each step further you take, as a seeker, then a catechumen, then a received member of the Orthodox faith, know that you already have a parish family who will walk with you each step, and be there to welcome you home. **

What an encouraging email! I truly feel welcome and unpressured. While I have been to churches in the past where they were almost predatory in nature, seeing me as fresh meat -to be hunted until converted- at the Orthodox Church I am welcomed just as I am. (As an aside, my wife and I visited a Lutheran Church once and the Pastor welcomed us warmly but as soon as I made it clear that I was already a member somewhere else, he totally ignored us!). So if Vespers is as far as I go in my journey into Orthodoxy, that is fine with them…but I plan to go much further.

Ken went on to say in his email that I should do only those things I am comfortable with but he remarked that I might find it “freeing” to participate so that is why I began crossing myself in the Vespers service and , to be honest, I did like participating. Now, in a conversation with Ken after the service, I asked him the proper way cross myself. It turns out for the last year, in my private devotions, I was doing it wrong. I was using my Index, middle and ring finger as the three that did the crossing but Ken said what people do is use the thumb, index and middle finger. He assured me it really didn’t matter and I could do what I wanted but I want to do it the right way…after all, Orthodox = right!

I showed up in my Air Force uniform because I came right after duty and a man with a cane walked up to me, as Vespers was dismissing, and gave me a sincere, hearty hand shake, telling me, “Good Luck.” That was nice.

Well, even though Ken answered my question via email and in person, we are still going to do coffee.

I’ll let you know how that goes…

Sixth Visit - Prostrations galore!

2010-08-02T06:47:00.004-04:00

Okay, I’m officially freaked out!

I went to Vespers Saturday and, even though I was very tired from working for the Air Force that day, I am glad I went. The Worship was beautiful, as usual and the incense, candles and bells help transport me to a different realm BUT when it came time for some Icon veneration, -It was the Icon of the Cross- Father Gary and several others did full prostrations on the ground. Others just dropped to their knees. I didn't know what to do. I felt out of place and I did what I have heard described as a “profound bow”, that is, I bowed from the waist down. And of course with the Orthodox, if it’s worth doing once, it’s worth doing three times! So every time it mentioned bowing down within the liturgy, they did.

What freaked me out is, really this type of Worship –using your whole body, soul and mind to Glorify God – is something that is foreign to me. I am used to singing some worship songs –short little “ditties” that lack the rich content of Orthodox Hymnography- and even when I sang those, the most demonstrative thing I have ever done is perhaps raise my hands but this…! Pentecostals have nothing on the Orthodox! I was struck by the lack of emotionalism that I have witnessed in other places. No Worship leader had to beg, plead to “let yourself go” and worship. Rather, the Orthodox just worship, with their mind, body and will. They don’t have to get “pumped up!”

All of this leads me to a question. Shouldn’t I be more engaged in Worship? In my own private devotions, I will cross myself (the Orthodox way, of course from right to left) and I will do a few bows but if I am going to worship in an Orthodox church, shouldn’t I be doing all they are doing? These past six times that I have been at Vespers, I have not crossed myself or done any metanies. I have just stood when everyone else stood and I have bowed my head a bit. I think the reason I don’t fully participate, is I believe (whether rightly or wrongly) that I should receive some instruction first. I feel I have to make my intentions clear, some declarative statement on my part that I intend to be Orthodox, almost like receiving permission because, after all, I am not Orthodox, just a seeker. I think I should shoot an email to Deacon Ken and set up a “meet and greet” or a cup of coffee at a diner or something and talk it over with him.

So what do you guys think? Should I be crossing myself, doing prostrations, kissing Icons, ect., even though I am not even a catechumen, let alone Orthodox? Leave some comments below; I’d love to know your opinion.

After Vespers ended, I had to rush out of there to pick up my son from work.

"Taking Chance" and the Veneration of the Saints

2010-07-28T03:54:00.001-04:00

“Taking Chance” is an HBO special starring Kevin Bacon about a fallen marine named Chance Phelps and the honor he receives because he is a fallen hero, having given his life to save his fellow marines. Watching that movie, seeing the solemn ceremony they bestow upon his remains- the hand salute rendered with slow solemnity-, hearing how Chance is spoken of with love and reverence, witnessing the special care they take on his remains- decking him out in a full dress uniform, perfectly placing each ribbon in its proper location- even though it was to be a closed casket and no one would see it- all of this, reminds me of the honor and respect Orthodox Christians give to the Saints.

Orthodox Christians understand the dignity of being made in the image of God and of the holiness God calls us to. But we are fallen and most of us look nothing like the Saints and do not reflect the Image of God clearly – but the Saints do! So not only is it proper to aspire to their holiness, it is correct to honor them for their life of sacrifice and dedication, just as it is proper to give full honors to a Marine who given his life for his country. This is what happens when an Orthodox Christian venerates an Icon, he is showing respect, love and honor to a person who has grown so close to God that their holiness is Luminous – How can we react otherwise?

Orthodox Christians have been accused of idolatry because of the honor they bestow upon the Saints; especially the special honor given to Mary – and this honor, they say, is worship. After all, they reason, right in the middle of the Liturgy there is the phrase, “Most Holy Theotokos, Save us.” This phrase, no doubt, scares a lot of Protestants. But they don’t understand. Fr. Aris Metrakosays it best:

Some Rebuttals to Those Among Us Who are Uncomfortable with Mary

Some modern Orthodox Christians don't like the words "Most Holy Theotokos, Save Us." They would prefer the words "intercede for us," reminding us that the exclamation "Save Us" is confusing to non-Orthodox. The veneration of Mary is not for the non-Orthodox. Once people have been fully converted to Christ, the love of the Panagia follows naturally. The pious believer knows firsthand that Jesus is his Savior, but the drowning man does not cry out to the lifeguard, "Intercede for me!"

And so we ask for the prayers of Mary and all the Saints because our journey towards Salvation should not be alone. We need the Saints to help us along the way, If I am weak and stumble while walking on a path, it is only natural that I would seek out the help of someone stronger than me to help me up and then, both together we continue on the path until we reach our destination. The prayers of the Saints will help me reach the desired destination.

Chance Phelps, the marine who gave his life for his friends, received proper honor for his actions. The Saints should receive no less.

lots of answers!

2010-07-21T03:53:00.005-04:00

photo by Flickr user Mr T in DC, used under the creative commons license,
check out his work at:http://www.flickr.com/photos/mr_t_in_dc/

Thanks to everyone who emailed me and posted comments on Orthodoxchristianity.net. I have learned a lot. It seems that venerating icons is acceptable at alomst anytime in the service. I guess with my rigid, western mind, I saw this as a problem....

If you would like to check out all the comments regarding this question on the Orthodox forum, click below.... by the way, I may be going to an ethnic fair at the church this saturday and I am going to try to drag my family so they can meet all the people I have been blogging about...keep me in prayer! Anyway, here's the link...
http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/index.php/topic,28857.msg455121.html#msg455121

Fifth Visit

2010-07-18T03:33:00.009-04:00

I impulsivley took a picture of the church before I entered on my fifth visit...

Yesterday was my fifth visit to an Orthodox church. Turns out it was Sunday of the Holy Fathers, a feast I suppose but before I entered the church I saw the lady –sorry, I forgot her name- who always gives me the Litya, called to me and said, “Sorry, we won’t be feeding you tonight!” This she said with a big smile and I remarked that it was okay. Then as I entered the church I saw Ken decked out in his Deacon robe and he greeted me. I told him I had to leave right away after the service to pick up my son from work and his expression said, “You don’t owe me an explanation- You are allowed to leave!” but as I handed him a New Testament and Psalms for Orthodox Christians: military edition – and asked him to hand it to his son Bill for me, he understood why I was explaining my need for a rapid exit. I would have liked to have handed it to Bill myself and perhaps told him I was praying for him but I can tell him that the next time I see him. Bill served alone as Altar boy (is Altar Boy a RC term only, I wonder?).

Something that I heard mentioned on a podcast happened today. I forgot which podcast but I remember hearing how it might be a good idea to come to church early so you can reverence the icons and light candles before the beginning of the service so that you don’t have to do it during the service. Well, in the middle of the service a couple came a did exactly that, kissed icons and lit candles. Can any of you Orthodox leave a comment and tell me about this. Is it considered rude and distracting or is it just part of normal everyday Orthodox life? I would really like to know so leave your comments below or email me at Jim.vivanco@gmail.com

Fr Gary mentioned, during his homily, how the church has a new icon over the entrance of the church. I had noticed that before he mentioned it because I remember on my second or third visit, I looked to see if they had an icon over the door because Fr Peter Prebble of the Shepherd of Souls podcast said that many churches have icons of the last judgment over the entrance as a reminder to think about such things as we exited the church. This icon was not the last judgment but rather the Protection of the Theotokos. He explained how it was good to remember how we are protected by the Theotokos as we entered into the world.

Speaking of the Theotokos, my mom told me when I was 16 and starting to get involved in a Pentecostal church, not to forget the Virgin Mother. I told her I wouldn’t but I really had no special devotion to her at the time. I get the feeling that the Theotokos is responsible for my desire to enter the Orthodox Church. After years of listening to Roman Catholic podcasts, I still had intellectual reservations about praying to Mary (during the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, which I would pray on my own, I would always replace the Hail Mary with the Lamb of God) But then I just started praying the Hail Mary and although I wouldn’t call it brain washing, it just seems to make sense now. I guess in anything, you have to pass from the intellectual to the actual doing. A doctor who spends all his time studying medicine but never once practices any first aid is kind of useless, don’t you think? My mom told me that one day I would return to the Catholic Church; Well, she was sort of right, I mean Orthodox is Catholic, right?

Fourth Visit, expounded upon!

2010-07-02T03:40:00.005-04:00

This is a picture of the interior of the church I visit. John explained all the icons to me

St. Peter and St. Paul’s feast day was last Tuesday so I went to vespers the night before, making it a total of four trips to this Orthodox parish.

I did hang around a bit and talk to people after the service and they were, as Ken promised, a chatty group. I am glad I stayed because I learned something. They smile…one thing that I found a bit disheartening when I first started going to Vespers is that everyone looked so serious when they were worshipping. Granted, this is coming from a person who likes to laugh a lot and has on more than one occasion, had to suppress laughter during a Sunday morning worship service because of a funny thing he saw or heard during the service and I must say that there were times I looked for these opportunities to find something to laugh about during the service (maybe I was that bored?)…but at Vespers? With the Incense, the bells, the icons, the beautiful chanting, the constant invocation of the Trinity? How can I even think of looking for something to laugh at when the important work of Worship is going on?

But after Vespers, when they were just hanging about, they laughed, the smiled, they told corny jokes (After I was introduced to everyone in the circle and each gave his name, someone said, “they’ll be a quiz later”) just normal people- who happen to connected to a 2000 year old church, started by Christ Himself!

I also talked with Ken for the first time, as we walked out of the Sanctuary, he says, “Mister Jim Dude!” That is my screen name of http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/ and he went on to tell me that is how he found my blog. (To be honest, he kinda freaked me out when he posted a comment on this blog, telling of specific events that were to happen at the parish – I didn’t tell anyone about this blog? How did he find it? Ken said it was the Holy Spirit. )He had went on to the forum and saw a post called “My first visit to an Orthodox church” and I referenced my blog where I talked about meeting a reader named John. Ken thought. I just saw a person who had his first visit at our parish and we have a reader named John. Could that be “Mister Jim Dude” Of course, it was.

I also had a short chat with Ken’s son Bill who is very interested in the Air Force. He is a nice kid who is interested in being a chaplain. The conversation was a bit awkward at times because he seemed shy but, hey, I can’t blame him. He gets called over by his father and is told to have a conversation with a complete stranger. I hope he does join the air force; we could use more Orthodox chaplains.

I did learn something about Icons that day. After Vespers, before I joined the “chatty group” John the reader explained all the icons on the Iconostas, explaining all the different feasts they represented throughout the church year. Basically, the entire Orthodox faith was explained in pictures. He told me that for a specific feast the icon is removed from the Iconostas and placed on a special table in the sanctuary so people can venerate it.

As of right now, I don’t venerate icons, but give me time, give me time!

Look forward to my next visit. I don’t know if I will be there this Saturday because of the Fourth of July barbeque at the in-laws but Ken says, “You don’t have to post on your blog, every time you miss Vespers and the reason why you didn’t make it. We are just glad you are here.” Okay, maybe it is just some residual Roman Catholic guilt kicking in.

Fourth Visit

2010-06-30T04:56:00.002-04:00

I'll tell you more about my fourth visit later...this week my church is involved in Vacation Bible School so I don't have a lot of time to blog. The above picture is of the bouncy thing the church rented for the kids to play on...cool, eh? I'll blog more later...peace out, jim

Taking time to Reconnect

2010-06-28T02:47:00.005-04:00

This past weekend I worked for the Air Force. So after a busy Monday through Friday at my civlilain job I worked Saturday and Sunday for my military job. That leaves very little time for my family. I had wanted to go to Vespers Saturday but I believe I was needed at home.

So here I am involved in three churches-Our Family church where we all go Sunday mornings, the Church of the Nazarene, a Baptist church that offers contempary worship on Sunday Evenings where both my wife and I go and the Orhtodox Church of America Parish where I go alone when I go- and if I had to choose between them all, which would I choose. Well, I won't tell but I'll give a hint, the one I like is the One with the Sacraments, Bishops, Liturgy and 2000 year old history :) ...

I am looking forward to the time when I can commit to being a catechumen and get really involved in the life of the church...but I am not there yet because I do not want to abandon my family...Lord, have mercy...

So Saturday after working all day and not really seeing my wife all week, we went out for a walk on the beach. As you can see, I am working out my salvation, one day at time, remembering those whom God is put in my life.

photo by Mike Baird, used under the creative commons licesne.
check out his work at:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mikebaird/

Prayer of the Saints

2010-06-22T03:06:00.004-04:00

We had an interesting conversation at dinner last night. We started talking about Martin Luther and whether he was German or not. After answering in the affirmative I recounted how Martin Luther became a monk….”Save me, St. Anne and I will become a monk,” so he said as he trembled in a thunder storm. My wife observed, “You know, I find the Saints to be distracting.” She said, it seemed odd to become closer to Christ by praying to someone else. I, of course, said that we merely ask for prayers from those in heaven as we would ask for prayers from those on earth.

After the conversation moved on, I thought about something I could have said (but as is usual I always think of clever things to say after moment is passed). ..I remember when I went to a Pentecostal church, my friend and mentor, Dave, said whenever he had a unique problem that needed special prayer he would seek out a specific person (whose name escapes me). She was a very godly women- old, weather beaten and close to Christ- and it seemed whenever she was asked to pray for something, when she did, God answered her. So my friend Dave would save special problems for her. If he needed prayer for something mundane, I would do but those life moments that demanded special attention, this old lady who was so close to Christ that her prayers were always answered, was the one he sought out to pray at the altar with him after a church service.

Isn’t that what the Saints in heaven do for us? They are close to Christ and we ask for their special prayers in times of crisis. My wife seemed to be turned off by the Catholic’s “worship of Saints” which, I admit, I have seen in times past. Saints must be given honor while God alone receives worship. I think that this abuse- that is, undue attention given to Saints at the expense of Christ- sullies the whole practice of asking the “Communion of Saints” to pray for us. But, as with everything else with the Reformation, the baby was thrown out with the bath water. That’s a shame because I know I can use all the prayer I can get!

Father's Day Post

2010-06-20T03:51:00.004-04:00

I received a very encouraging email from Ken...after he read my post about "being shy" he encouraged me to stick around after verspers sometime and talk with the rest of them as they are, as he calls them, a welcoming group. So that is what I will do next week.

Last night my wife was very sleepy so I ended up going to pick up Matthew (our son) from work which meant I missed Vespers... :( I had wanted to go because I had heard it was a Reader's Service this week and I wanted to know what that was about.

My daughter Sara drew me a card for Father's Day. As you can see from the different discriptions of me, when it comes to the "Ipod touch" she points out there are plenty of Orthodox podcasts on it!

Happy Father's Day to you dads out there!

Third Visit!

2010-06-13T06:36:00.001-04:00

I made my third visit to an Orthodox Church…Vespers, of course.

This time I felt I was able to be less overwhelmed by all that was going on and more able to participate in Worship, although I do still stare as people enter the church and kiss all the icons before they make their seats. This may be rude but I watch anyway. (How else am I supposed to learn?)

I realized the other two times I went I had gone on Special Feast days, one was Ascension Thursday and the other was for Pentacost- last night was my first “normal” service, although, to be honest it wasn’t much different from a “high holy day.” Lots of singing, but there was no special procession of a particular icon and no Litya bread.

People hung around after the service for what I guess was confession. I felt uncomfortable hanging around so I scooted out of there. I have read that Orthodox Worship is "Not about you" and I can truly say that they do not follow the protestant module of being "seeker friendly" but I am not giving up. People, however, have made overchores to me, even on this very website (thank you, Ken) and I have been to protestant churches before where I was ignored and, perhaps, I am sensitive about these things becasue I tend to be shy in new stiuations. I think if I want to “socialize” I will have to come on a Sunday morning so that I can join in on the coffee hour after the Divine Liturgy…maybe, soon but, of course, that will be hard since I go to church with my family on Sunday mornings.

Didn't make it to vespers last night!

2010-06-06T05:54:00.000-04:00

...but I wanted to. I have been working for the Air Force this weekend (actually it is our block training which began thursday and ends today) and I had planned to show up at Vespers after work, first coming home for a quick bite and to spend some time with the family but a friend of mine, Tony,- his father passed away due to cancer and I had to go to Freehold to attend the wake. I could have gone after the wake but I hadn't yet seen my family and I also had to say good bye to my sister who was visiting from Georgia.

I realize that sometimes family obligations will keep me from Vespers but, in my heart, I really wanted to be there. That, I suppose, is a good thing. It means that Orthodoxy is working on me (Or, rather, the Holy Spirit) drawing me to the ancient faith.

Next week, God willing, I will make it to Vespers.
Lord have mercy!

Pentacost Vespers

2010-05-22T21:13:00.018-04:00

It seems every time I go to an Orthodox Service, they feed me. More Litya in this Vespers also.

I left my house exactly one half hour before 7pm so I arrived as the Priest was about to start. I quickly sat down in the back. These folding chairs were not covered in cloth like the others and I had feared that perhaps I was sitting in chairs designated for the choir since they were right next to me but I didn't let that distract me too much. I figured they would be forgiving if I sat in the wrong place, after all I am a newbie.

I really noticed the incense this time, the smells are unique in the Orthodox Church.

I invited my wife to go with me but she had to stay home to get ready for our upcoming road trip to Georgia. She said "this wasn't her thing" but I think she'll visit with me at least once. I also invited Daniel but he didn't come.

Karen and I have been going to a baptist church on Sunday evenings...it's a contemporary service and they call it "the Five" since they meet at 5pm. So I called Vespers "The Seven" because that is when they meet.

They had a retired priest help out Fr Gary tonight along with three altar boys instead of the just one they had last time.

After the Service (that is when Tammy handed me the Litya and told me every time you come here, we feed you!) I walked right out and didn't hang around like I did last time. I guess I am a bit shy.

Perhaps next time I will strike up a conversation with Deacon Tom.

First Orthodox Service

2010-05-12T21:34:00.019-04:00

After years of reading about Orthodoxy and listening to podcasts about it, I finally took the plunge and visited an Orthodox Service. It was a 7pm Vespers service for Ascension Thursday. (In Orthodox thinking, the day actually begins sundown the night before so celebrating Ascension Thursday on Wednesday evening is do-able in Orthodox thinking)

First, I could not believe how beautiful the sanctuary was, with all the icons and candles etc. Since I arrived a bit early, I was able to observe others. A woman across the aisle (we all sat in folding chairs) was praying as one would do before a worship service but she was standing to do so. Of course, this was no surprise to me because I have heard/read about how the Orthodox, like the Jews, stand for prayer. It was just a bit surreal to see what I have been reading about in "real life."

It was also surreal to see people kissing icons and bowing before them.

In the beginning, a man who was wearing a robe introduced himself to me as John. (I asked if he were a priest and he said he was a reader). Later on, his wife Tammy introduced herself to me and after Vespers she introduced me to a Deacon (named Tom) and finally to Fr Gary who, it turns out, was a convert from Roman Catholicism. (His girlfriend, now wife, had a lot to do with his conversion).

After the service we all shared in Litya, something I had heard about but go to partake of...here is a picture of what it looked like - This is from a different church but you get the idea...

Everyone went up to receive this bread/wine combination plus a special blessing from the priest but I did not go up but Tammy handed me some afterwards. She took special care to tell me it was not the consecrated Eucharist so I could partake.

I absolutely loved the music. It was all aCapella and the choir was great. Everything was sung, even the bible readings.

Another thing I had read/heard about is how people would kiss the priest's hand. This they would do because it is those hands that offer the Eucharist and it was interesting to see the altar boys kiss his hand whenever they would hand him a candle or something.

I look forward to going back.